So, last night the Idol crew took their caravan of crazy down to sunny Jacksonville, Florida. In a bizzare twist, the city they went to had one of the judge's names in it...Randy Jackson....Jackson-ville. Wow, that is just too unbelievable to ignore....so ignore it they did not. An entire intro to the city revolved around the top dawg himself.....the man so famous for being in the rock band, Journey (hands up, who remembers Randy being in Journey? I swear I never saw a black man in Journey! How did I miss that?)
So once we got over that exciting connection, we were on with the show.
First up Joshua who compares himself to Justin Guarini...thinks this will make him "memorable." Ah yes, the shining star that is Justin Guarini. There are scores of papparazzi just camped outside of Mr. Guarini's mansion as we speak. So, Joshua-Justin went through to Hollywood. No chance, no chance.
A cute girl brought in a cute dog. She sang "Superstar" but had a very odd voice. It was raspy and then cutesy. I didn't know what to make of it. Then on top of that Kara and Paula did this fake kiss thing and Kara said she was waiting for Simon to make a move on her. Hey people, there's a contestant here!!! Do they let these women out of a psychiatric ward once a year just to do this show? What is wrong with them?
A Latina girl with a goofy laugh did a Whitney Houston song and it turned out to be OK in the end. I actually liked her...thought she was pretty down to earth. Now for who's NOT down to earth.....Paula from planet Prescriptionpillz had a breakdown because she wasn't invited to give her opinion. She walked away sobbing and said she "couldn't do it" when the contestant went and fetched her saying, "But you've been doing it for 8 seasons!" and then returned trying to act like she was just kidding. You could tell from Kara's and Simon's expressions that they were thinking, "Oh oh...there goes 'crazy' again." I knew it would be only a matter of time before Paula's brain imploded over there being a 4th judge. I think the kiss she was trying to give Kara was really the kiss of death!! By the way, this contestant...very likeable, but like the other ones that went through to Hollywood tonight, she's not going to cut it.
Blonde Naomi walks in and says she has a friend who is Randy's #1 fan. The fan comes in and sits on Randy's lap. Not to be outdone by Randy and the Randy fan, Paula sits on Simon's lap. Ryan is then invited to come in and sit on Kara's lap. Ryan leaves as soon as he can, feeling totally uncomfortable being that close to a woman. Blonde girl can't sing. They ask her if it was a joke. Strike 2. Girl cries.
Jasmine, who did the Fergie "Personal" song had a REALLY annoying voice and they told her she was good and sent her off to Hollywood. Another one who won't make it.
George, who studies physics, is 18 years old, yet I contend that his beard is actually 40 years old. All nutty George wants in life is a simple house with marble floors. We are living in a world where a simple house has marble floors and people who work in cubicles call themselves "blue collar." I'm starting to feel pretty smart (and sane) watching this show! No need to discuss whether he could sing or not.
Kara wore brown eye makeup on day 2 and it looked better than the whore gray she has been wearing. Yet her blouses cancelled out the improvement.
T.K. came in and did "Imagine." I just imagine a world where no one tried to sing this song. That's my eutopia.
Ah the Jacksonville skyline....they keep showing it.....why....I have no idea.
I'll end on the young, guitar-carrying, crying Michael Perelli. I actually would have liked him to go through. Poor baby. I'd like to give him a hug but he'd probably screech "Don't touch me!" like he did to his mom.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention Anne Marie who they had come back with a little more makeup. She will do very well and go to the next level. That's one contenstant for Jacksonville. She was great. Watch out for her.
Tonight....Salt Lake City.....where you can only get "near-Beer" (3.2%) but are more than welcome to take a wife or two or five.
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