American Idol. Motown. Smokey Robinson. Barry Gordy. Judges enter holding hands. Paula wears a tutu.
It is always a pleasure to see Smokey. Four thousand songs? My word! What an icon! I also like how Smokey who is probably 100 years old now wears cargo pants, a cool t-shirt, and a hoodie. Sure, he’s botoxed to the nines and his teeth are Clorox white, but he’s a cool dude…and he doesn’t look as freakish as, say, Little Richard. Actually, I just found out, Smokey is only a wee 69 years old. My bad. He’s just starting to come into his own, as Paula would say.
Matt performed “Let’s Get it On” and I thought he was in good form. Great voice, great performance….piano and stage. Simple as that.
Kris did “How Sweet is it to Be Love By You” which I always thought was a James Taylor song. It was actually a hit in 1964 by Marvin Gaye. So, I learn yet another fact today. Considering the theme and the song Kris chose, I found it very strange that he wore military garb for his performance. What were the numbers on his shirt about? Random or something significant like on “Lost?” Kris is a cutie but his performance reminded me of something a pre-teen heart throb would sing on the Disney Channel. Also, noteworthy: Kris is shorter than Ryan Seacrest. He’s itty bitty.
Paula and Simon are holding hands underneath the table. What is going on with these two this season?
Scott did “You Can’t Hurry Love.” He’s got fast fingers, but I found the song boring and I have to say I’m getting sick of his voice. Scott’s pink pants were a bit too tight. I agreed with Simon – he’s not standing out and not making an impact. Tonight he should be in the bottom three.
Paula took out crayons and coloring books for Simon to play with tonight. I can just see her spending all day coming up with that joke! Something just occurred to me – do any of the judges have children? I don’t think so. Anyway, where were we? Ah yes, when Paula took the CRAY-ONS out, Ryan said “Crowns” – did anyone notice that!!? I thought only Philadelphians said “crowns” for crayons – but apparently they say it that way in Georgia too. BTW, Philadelphians and Georgians…it’s said like this: CRAAAAAY ONS.
Megan sang my parents’ wedding song, “For Once in My Life” and all I could think when she was trying it out in front of Smokey was “my parents are going to hate this!” This is the first time I thought she sounded bad. She shouted and her words sounded weird. Bad, cracking voice at points. Not melodic at all. Thumbs down. Way down. OH! and she had a good time. Goodie goodie gum drops, Megan had a good time. That did it. Goodbye Megan, you put the nail in the coffin. Guess who else had a good time? Alexis. Now she’s having a good time doing laundry at home.
This week Paula had on a ring that looked like a giant, bejeweled boil.
Anoop did “Ooh Baby Baby” – I love this song. Once again I love Anoop’s clothes! The sweaty upper lip I could’ve done without, but I did like the performance! Delightful, perhaps a bit sleepy, but still nice.
Kara is trying to be the professor at the judge’s table, don’t you think? Her criticism is always very technical among “not great for me for you, dog” and “not to be rude, but it was horrendous” and “stutter-stutter-stutter-you-made-it-your-own-stutter-stutter-stutter-vulner-a-bility-stutter.”
Who’s the chubby kid next to Smokey?
Paula wants to see more confidence from Anoop. Well you know what? I want to see more confidence from Paula! Despite the fact that she’s been on this show for 8 season she’s still a stuttering, bumbling, and unsure of her words! So, step it up Paula!
Randy looks good in the blue sweater.
Michael did “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg” – the big guy ain’t too proud to wear thong sandals either! That’s so wrong. His performance was just OK, not great. Bottom three.
Lil did “Heat Wave” – The dress looked great on Lil (who ain’t so “lil” in the bee-hind). The backup singers were a little overwhelming in this song and she did seem to be shouting. It reminded me of a Vegas show but not anything spectacularly unique. She got the kiss of death from Paula = “You look great.”
Adam did “Tracks of my Tears” I loved the interaction between Adam and Smokey. He totally looks like Elvis tonight. Hands down best singer in the competition, probably best singer they’ve ever had on the show (or so I thought, but there’s someone who might rival him later). Smokey stood up for his performance! The fact that Adam’s in that suit with his hair slicked back just makes me that much more excited that he’s going to be wild looking next week, guaranteed! Woo!!!
Danny did “Get Ready” and though he said he was going to take Smokey’s advice, in the end he didn’t. No one commented on that though because he sounded great! The song was perfect for him. I like the little move he did with the backup singers. Boy they rushed through Danny, eh? Kind of annoying when you think of all the time they spent going on about some other contestants like Scott. Very entertaining! Love Danny!
Allison did “Papa Was a Rolling Stone” – the band was good and funky. Hate to say it but she’s better than the best performer tonight (Adam). How in the hell does a girl of 16 get this much soul? Amazing. OMG. I’m totally blown away. She must have made a deal with the devil.
What happened to Olivia Newton John’s face? She oughta see Smokey about a better plastic surgeon.
How awesome is it that Simon drew a mustache on Paula’s face? He was waiting all show to do that!
Bottom:
Scott
Megan
Michael
(My guess is that Scott will go home)
Your thoughts?
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Randy Travis, the Friendly Alien
With the amount of time we spend looking at and listening to the four judges each week, I don't think they should continue to introduce them like they are Miss America Contestants. It is like having a formal introduction each time your co-worker steps into the office each day at this point. Silly.
Kara's clothing, jewelry, and hair seemed Paula-inspired last night.
And Randy Travis looks like an alien. He's a friendly alien, but no human being has a head like that. Agreed?
Michael did "Ain't Goin' Down 'Til the Sun Comes Up" and sometimes I wonder if it is the only Garth Brooks song they're allowed to sing on the show. It is a song with some speedy lyrics, but Michael handled this like an auctioneer. Not much feeling to it. The performance was also badly captured by the camera men. There was too much focus on the harmonica player and Michael walking around (here's a great view of Michael's back!). I think Michael's going home tonight.
Allison was pretty flawless. I found it strange that she wore a flower in her hair that was the exact same color of her hair. Paula said she's like to see her "vulnerable" side. That's vulnerable #1 from Paula tonight.
Chris also did a Garth Brooks song. OK, so they are allowed to sing other ones, especially if they weren't huge hits. Everyone thought it was great, but I was pretty bored. I started to day dream about how Chris's wife was getting the spaghetti out of the box this week by herself. Paula said it was nice to see his "vulnerable" side. That's #2. Simon thought it was terrific, but that's probably becuase it didn't sound like a country song. Ryan said of Simon's critique that he was just waiting for Simon's butt the whole time but it never came. Watch out Simon!
Lil or Little as Simon prefers to call her sang Martina McBride's Independence Day. She also got messed up in an interview with Ryan when he asked, "How much time do you guys spend together?" and she responded, "We spend quite a few time together." WOOPS. I thought she did well when the chorus kicked in but this didn't suit her at all. Nothing bad, but nothing mind blowing.
Totally teaching Lil a lesson on what you should do when a song isn't in your style, Adam came on the scene with an middle-eastern, gothic, gay dungeon version of "Ring of Fire" -- and I loved it, ya'll!!! What did you expect? I wrote down "Simon is going to say it is indulgent" -- but gosh darnit, aren't rock starts suppose to be indulgent? Randy Travis the alien was looking at this performance like it was from another planet! Earth perhaps Randy, hmmm?
Scott did a nice performance. Big surprise. Kara said he has an angelic quality. Simon called Paula stupid. Yawn.
Alexis did Jolene. It's a great song and I remember when Brooke White did this I really liked her version. I prefer Alexis's personality to Brooke's but I don't think Alexis did as good of a job with this song. I think part of her problem is that she's so tiny. When you're small like that you have to do something big (ala Dolly Parton) to bring more presence to the stage. Paula used "vulnerable" for the 3rd time tonight in her comment. Alexis said, "I had fun." I have to ask, why do these contestants think we give a rat's patootie if they're having fun. So what?
Danny - my first thought was --- what is that white jacket about? Really bizarre looking on him. I do love "Jesus Take the Wheel" (really I do!) and he did well with it. Simon agreed with me on the jacket. He said, "You look like you're dressed for the North Pole and we're in Los Angeleeze." (or something like that...don't mistake the quotation marks for real quotes).
Anoop did a very nice performance of Always on My Mind. How'd they round out his left eye? They look more the same this week. Wow, those Idol stylists are something! Anoop looked great. He looks better every week. I love the way he dresses. Tonight he had on a cool hoodie. He just comes off like the hottest guy in the IT department. Like the nerd who gets all the chicks. Good for you Anoop!
Megan did "Walking After Midnight" and I think she’s super cool but isn’t she kind of a novelty? Would you listen to a whole album of Megan? The tattoo sleeve never looked more out of place than it did last night with the brown gown. Her performance was good though and she's stunningly beautiful. Megan had the flu. Geez, I wish I looked that good when I had the flu (or on my best day for that matter!) What the heck do they do with her running around with Influenza B? Do they store her away in a hyperbaric chamber back stage?
Matt was awesome last night. It sounded like he was performing his own song. I bet that they would say it was the night's best performance and Randy did! It was very heartfelt and he just did a great job!
Since Paula said "vulnerable" 3x tonight she tried to say "authenticity" instead on this one. Oops, can't say that big word.
The judges compared Matt to Michael Buble, but they aren't realizing that he doesn't sound like him --- HE LOOKS JUST LIKE HIM! And I said that weeks ago.
So that's your summary. Say goodbye to Michael or maybe Scott.
Nahnoo Nahnoo, Randy Travis.
Kara's clothing, jewelry, and hair seemed Paula-inspired last night.
And Randy Travis looks like an alien. He's a friendly alien, but no human being has a head like that. Agreed?
Michael did "Ain't Goin' Down 'Til the Sun Comes Up" and sometimes I wonder if it is the only Garth Brooks song they're allowed to sing on the show. It is a song with some speedy lyrics, but Michael handled this like an auctioneer. Not much feeling to it. The performance was also badly captured by the camera men. There was too much focus on the harmonica player and Michael walking around (here's a great view of Michael's back!). I think Michael's going home tonight.
Allison was pretty flawless. I found it strange that she wore a flower in her hair that was the exact same color of her hair. Paula said she's like to see her "vulnerable" side. That's vulnerable #1 from Paula tonight.
Chris also did a Garth Brooks song. OK, so they are allowed to sing other ones, especially if they weren't huge hits. Everyone thought it was great, but I was pretty bored. I started to day dream about how Chris's wife was getting the spaghetti out of the box this week by herself. Paula said it was nice to see his "vulnerable" side. That's #2. Simon thought it was terrific, but that's probably becuase it didn't sound like a country song. Ryan said of Simon's critique that he was just waiting for Simon's butt the whole time but it never came. Watch out Simon!
Lil or Little as Simon prefers to call her sang Martina McBride's Independence Day. She also got messed up in an interview with Ryan when he asked, "How much time do you guys spend together?" and she responded, "We spend quite a few time together." WOOPS. I thought she did well when the chorus kicked in but this didn't suit her at all. Nothing bad, but nothing mind blowing.
Totally teaching Lil a lesson on what you should do when a song isn't in your style, Adam came on the scene with an middle-eastern, gothic, gay dungeon version of "Ring of Fire" -- and I loved it, ya'll!!! What did you expect? I wrote down "Simon is going to say it is indulgent" -- but gosh darnit, aren't rock starts suppose to be indulgent? Randy Travis the alien was looking at this performance like it was from another planet! Earth perhaps Randy, hmmm?
Scott did a nice performance. Big surprise. Kara said he has an angelic quality. Simon called Paula stupid. Yawn.
Alexis did Jolene. It's a great song and I remember when Brooke White did this I really liked her version. I prefer Alexis's personality to Brooke's but I don't think Alexis did as good of a job with this song. I think part of her problem is that she's so tiny. When you're small like that you have to do something big (ala Dolly Parton) to bring more presence to the stage. Paula used "vulnerable" for the 3rd time tonight in her comment. Alexis said, "I had fun." I have to ask, why do these contestants think we give a rat's patootie if they're having fun. So what?
Danny - my first thought was --- what is that white jacket about? Really bizarre looking on him. I do love "Jesus Take the Wheel" (really I do!) and he did well with it. Simon agreed with me on the jacket. He said, "You look like you're dressed for the North Pole and we're in Los Angeleeze." (or something like that...don't mistake the quotation marks for real quotes).
Anoop did a very nice performance of Always on My Mind. How'd they round out his left eye? They look more the same this week. Wow, those Idol stylists are something! Anoop looked great. He looks better every week. I love the way he dresses. Tonight he had on a cool hoodie. He just comes off like the hottest guy in the IT department. Like the nerd who gets all the chicks. Good for you Anoop!
Megan did "Walking After Midnight" and I think she’s super cool but isn’t she kind of a novelty? Would you listen to a whole album of Megan? The tattoo sleeve never looked more out of place than it did last night with the brown gown. Her performance was good though and she's stunningly beautiful. Megan had the flu. Geez, I wish I looked that good when I had the flu (or on my best day for that matter!) What the heck do they do with her running around with Influenza B? Do they store her away in a hyperbaric chamber back stage?
Matt was awesome last night. It sounded like he was performing his own song. I bet that they would say it was the night's best performance and Randy did! It was very heartfelt and he just did a great job!
Since Paula said "vulnerable" 3x tonight she tried to say "authenticity" instead on this one. Oops, can't say that big word.
The judges compared Matt to Michael Buble, but they aren't realizing that he doesn't sound like him --- HE LOOKS JUST LIKE HIM! And I said that weeks ago.
So that's your summary. Say goodbye to Michael or maybe Scott.
Nahnoo Nahnoo, Randy Travis.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
I Actually Have to Admit it!
Last night was a pretty good night. I would say that no one totally sucked. Is it an American Idol first? Perhaps it is! Maybe Paula will even surprise us by coming in sober one of these weeks too! ; )
So obviously they're trying to spice up the show this year....the ridiculously long rounds of semi-finals, the surprise "13", the new judge, and now the judges are announced by some special announcer. Woopdeedoo....just like the rest of it. Yet it was fun to watch Paula do her nutty catwalk down the steps. Who walks with one leg completely over the other like that? Glammed up, eccentric old ladies who wear glitter eyemakeup and feathers, that's who!
Ryan introduced the band as "the best musicians in the business" -- did they fire the ones who did the semi-final show? Or were they different musicians? Because they kinda sucked, yo? And how about the HORRIBLE angle they shot the contestants from in the intro? It was like someone was filming them from the bottom of a toilet bowl.
So, when they announced Michael Jackson music, I have to admit, I thought they'd really bomb....but they didn't, so I find myself a wee bit impressed with the 8th season contestants. At least if something about the show is actually going to be good, it's the talent. The talent should be its saving grace.
Lil took the stage with "The Way You Make Me Feel." While I found the lighting during her performance disturbing (looked like she was in a haze) I think she was pretty flawless. I assumed they put her up first to start the show off well and it was a good move.
Scott from Scottdale performed an unknown song and I thought it was the best performance from him I've heard. Nice piano playing, nice voice. I fear though that we're going to be inundated with inspirational tunes from him, ala David Archuletta. I can only take so much of that before I go into sugar shock. One thing we find very annoying here in the household is that they keep saying "visually impaired" and don't tell us what his eye disease is. That's a personal thing since my husband is "visually impaired" but we think they should just come out and name the damn disease!
Danny did PYT. I've always liked this song. I think he might have screwed up a little with his na-na-na's and I didn't care for his blazer very much, but he was fun. It was decent, but not tear-worthy as Lady Abdul seemed to think it was. "Oh you're going all the way!!" OK, take a seat.
Michael did "You Are Not Alone" -- I'm pretty sure this is from the Lisa Marie Presley era. That still gives me goosebumps (in the bad way). Michael the roughneck's voiceis much higher than I thought. I think it was smart of him to pick a slow, sensitive song because he's too big to be jumping around Michael Jackson style. He was, perhaps, overly smiley...yet, he did a very good job. Paula tried to use the word "instinctually" and flubbed it up as per usual. She and George W. Bush would probably have an interesting conversation if they ever got together.
Jasmine's outfit was just beautiful. I loved it. She did "I'll Be There" which I would have predicted if I were given a chance to predict it. She totally proved me wrong and I thought she sang very well. The camera loves her too. I wrote that in my notes, sure that I would be beating Kara and Paula to the punch, but they never said it. I thought it was odd that Simon pegged the performance as a little girl trying to act grown up when this song was done by Michael Jackson when he was 11 years old.
Kris - Kris's family video was really strange. It looked like his family didn't have any chairs. Then he assisted his wife with taking spaghetti out of a box. Is she pasta challenged or something? Kris played acoustic guitar (which I love) and did "Remember the Time" and damn, Kris was much better than I thought. I'm going to lose money on this guy. He's very natural. I'm not sure why Paula had to say, "Don't take this the wrong way -- you're adorable sexy" -- perhaps it is leftover anxiety from the Corey years. Simon started pulling Paula's ridiculous outfit apart during this critique, which was rather amusing.
Allison, the weirdo, is from El Salvador and she sings in furniture stores. If she would simply perform and never open her mouth (and never show the clip of singing in furniture stores again) she'd have a great shot at winning this competition. Wow, she did a song I didn't know, but rocked the house! "Give in to Me" was dark and powerful. She's totally natural.
Anoop - He looked 10x better tonight, great haircut. Still a little heavy on the eyebrows, but it doesn't matter because his right eye is total round and his left eye is slanted. It's all good. Killer clothing. He chose "Beat it" and I hate to agree with Paula, but you just don't go there. No one is going to perform that song well. Simon said there wasn't enough aggression, but just think of the guy who sang it and the dancing gang members. Weird tune, dude. Classic, but weird. I'm not sure "aggression" is called for. I'm afraid Anoop might have to beat it tonight!
Jorge did "Never Can Say Goodbye." Man o man, he's just like a b-version star to me. I feel like I'm watching Telemundo or something. This performance reminded me of a variety show performance....like he'd be on between Sonny & Cher skits. Jorge also has the kookie eyes like Anoop -- right eye is round and left eye is kinda saggy. Hey, no fault of his. The performance wasn't awful, but nothing to write home about (or write a blog post about).
Commercials -- what's with this Osbournes Reloaded? When Ozzy kicks the bucket is Sharon going to drag him around like "Weekend at Bernies" ? What won't these people do? And how BIZARRE is that new McDonald's commercial? I'll do the ditty here and it will be stuck in your head all day but it's a very creepy commercial. I'd love to know what ad executive came up with, "Give me back that filet o fish. Give me that fish. What if it were you hanging up on the wall? What if it were you in that sandwich, you wouldn't be laughing at all!" -- so....the talking fish on the wall wants the sandwich BACK? I think they should only run that commercial down south.
Megan - damn! Megan's mom! Geez, that's some good genes over there, eh? Beautiful women. Rockin' Robin....now I "GET" why she picked it, but it didn't show off any of her abilities. The music was really lame too. Felt like a talent show.
Paula's bracelet is totally weird tonight with the giant metal tag!
Adam - HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALL E LU JAH!!! Give it to me! Sho'mon! Sho'mon! Adam took one of the worst MJ songs "Black or White" and just fired up the stage. Love you Adam!!! WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!! Great fashion, great singing, great performance, Adam the great!
Paula was hyperventilating, crying over the performance and I won't go that far (because I'm not on any chemical substances) but he certainly deserved all the praise! Kara said, "I hope Michael Jackson is watching tonight" -- yeah, and crying his nose off that his career is shot.
Matt did "Human Nature" which I've always liked (glad Adam didn't sing it --- "tell me why does he do me that way")Matt did a nice job. I couldn't really hear the piano. Let's face it, it must have been a bitch to follow Adam.
Alexis did "Dirty Diana" and this tiny thing can kick some ass. It was a little manic in parts but she's a good performer.
So, based on performances I think Anoop and Jorge should go home, maybe even Megan but I think she needs to stay based on her unique qualities. We shall see.
Kinda busy today folks, so I will update the poll and the picture later! Leave comments or email me! Lynn, OUT!
So obviously they're trying to spice up the show this year....the ridiculously long rounds of semi-finals, the surprise "13", the new judge, and now the judges are announced by some special announcer. Woopdeedoo....just like the rest of it. Yet it was fun to watch Paula do her nutty catwalk down the steps. Who walks with one leg completely over the other like that? Glammed up, eccentric old ladies who wear glitter eyemakeup and feathers, that's who!
Ryan introduced the band as "the best musicians in the business" -- did they fire the ones who did the semi-final show? Or were they different musicians? Because they kinda sucked, yo? And how about the HORRIBLE angle they shot the contestants from in the intro? It was like someone was filming them from the bottom of a toilet bowl.
So, when they announced Michael Jackson music, I have to admit, I thought they'd really bomb....but they didn't, so I find myself a wee bit impressed with the 8th season contestants. At least if something about the show is actually going to be good, it's the talent. The talent should be its saving grace.
Lil took the stage with "The Way You Make Me Feel." While I found the lighting during her performance disturbing (looked like she was in a haze) I think she was pretty flawless. I assumed they put her up first to start the show off well and it was a good move.
Scott from Scottdale performed an unknown song and I thought it was the best performance from him I've heard. Nice piano playing, nice voice. I fear though that we're going to be inundated with inspirational tunes from him, ala David Archuletta. I can only take so much of that before I go into sugar shock. One thing we find very annoying here in the household is that they keep saying "visually impaired" and don't tell us what his eye disease is. That's a personal thing since my husband is "visually impaired" but we think they should just come out and name the damn disease!
Danny did PYT. I've always liked this song. I think he might have screwed up a little with his na-na-na's and I didn't care for his blazer very much, but he was fun. It was decent, but not tear-worthy as Lady Abdul seemed to think it was. "Oh you're going all the way!!" OK, take a seat.
Michael did "You Are Not Alone" -- I'm pretty sure this is from the Lisa Marie Presley era. That still gives me goosebumps (in the bad way). Michael the roughneck's voiceis much higher than I thought. I think it was smart of him to pick a slow, sensitive song because he's too big to be jumping around Michael Jackson style. He was, perhaps, overly smiley...yet, he did a very good job. Paula tried to use the word "instinctually" and flubbed it up as per usual. She and George W. Bush would probably have an interesting conversation if they ever got together.
Jasmine's outfit was just beautiful. I loved it. She did "I'll Be There" which I would have predicted if I were given a chance to predict it. She totally proved me wrong and I thought she sang very well. The camera loves her too. I wrote that in my notes, sure that I would be beating Kara and Paula to the punch, but they never said it. I thought it was odd that Simon pegged the performance as a little girl trying to act grown up when this song was done by Michael Jackson when he was 11 years old.
Kris - Kris's family video was really strange. It looked like his family didn't have any chairs. Then he assisted his wife with taking spaghetti out of a box. Is she pasta challenged or something? Kris played acoustic guitar (which I love) and did "Remember the Time" and damn, Kris was much better than I thought. I'm going to lose money on this guy. He's very natural. I'm not sure why Paula had to say, "Don't take this the wrong way -- you're adorable sexy" -- perhaps it is leftover anxiety from the Corey years. Simon started pulling Paula's ridiculous outfit apart during this critique, which was rather amusing.
Allison, the weirdo, is from El Salvador and she sings in furniture stores. If she would simply perform and never open her mouth (and never show the clip of singing in furniture stores again) she'd have a great shot at winning this competition. Wow, she did a song I didn't know, but rocked the house! "Give in to Me" was dark and powerful. She's totally natural.
Anoop - He looked 10x better tonight, great haircut. Still a little heavy on the eyebrows, but it doesn't matter because his right eye is total round and his left eye is slanted. It's all good. Killer clothing. He chose "Beat it" and I hate to agree with Paula, but you just don't go there. No one is going to perform that song well. Simon said there wasn't enough aggression, but just think of the guy who sang it and the dancing gang members. Weird tune, dude. Classic, but weird. I'm not sure "aggression" is called for. I'm afraid Anoop might have to beat it tonight!
Jorge did "Never Can Say Goodbye." Man o man, he's just like a b-version star to me. I feel like I'm watching Telemundo or something. This performance reminded me of a variety show performance....like he'd be on between Sonny & Cher skits. Jorge also has the kookie eyes like Anoop -- right eye is round and left eye is kinda saggy. Hey, no fault of his. The performance wasn't awful, but nothing to write home about (or write a blog post about).
Commercials -- what's with this Osbournes Reloaded? When Ozzy kicks the bucket is Sharon going to drag him around like "Weekend at Bernies" ? What won't these people do? And how BIZARRE is that new McDonald's commercial? I'll do the ditty here and it will be stuck in your head all day but it's a very creepy commercial. I'd love to know what ad executive came up with, "Give me back that filet o fish. Give me that fish. What if it were you hanging up on the wall? What if it were you in that sandwich, you wouldn't be laughing at all!" -- so....the talking fish on the wall wants the sandwich BACK? I think they should only run that commercial down south.
Megan - damn! Megan's mom! Geez, that's some good genes over there, eh? Beautiful women. Rockin' Robin....now I "GET" why she picked it, but it didn't show off any of her abilities. The music was really lame too. Felt like a talent show.
Paula's bracelet is totally weird tonight with the giant metal tag!
Adam - HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALL E LU JAH!!! Give it to me! Sho'mon! Sho'mon! Adam took one of the worst MJ songs "Black or White" and just fired up the stage. Love you Adam!!! WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!! Great fashion, great singing, great performance, Adam the great!
Paula was hyperventilating, crying over the performance and I won't go that far (because I'm not on any chemical substances) but he certainly deserved all the praise! Kara said, "I hope Michael Jackson is watching tonight" -- yeah, and crying his nose off that his career is shot.
Matt did "Human Nature" which I've always liked (glad Adam didn't sing it --- "tell me why does he do me that way")Matt did a nice job. I couldn't really hear the piano. Let's face it, it must have been a bitch to follow Adam.
Alexis did "Dirty Diana" and this tiny thing can kick some ass. It was a little manic in parts but she's a good performer.
So, based on performances I think Anoop and Jorge should go home, maybe even Megan but I think she needs to stay based on her unique qualities. We shall see.
Kinda busy today folks, so I will update the poll and the picture later! Leave comments or email me! Lynn, OUT!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
"Estoy contento de estar aquí!" says American Idol Contestant
"They’ve said goodbye to their families, abandoned their jobs....they've been waiting in the firey pit of hell for their chance to perform, with me, Ryan Seacrest, otherwise known as Beelzebub. And THISSSSS is American Idol!" [devil horns]
In an outfit straight out of hell, Von Smith took the stage to sing "You're all I need to get by." Von, try wearing something NOT orange. Who wears orange? Honestly. So, Von's a good singer. For being first up he certainly showed more than most of the contestants from previous shows. He's a good performer and he picked a good song. Not to be rude, but the chick with “the teeth” in the audience? What was up with that? Anyone see those choppers? Oh, that's right....Von's from Missouri. The land of missing dentistry. So, I agree with Simon on this one his singing style reminded me of Clay Aiken. I don't know if Von is gay, but there certainly seems to be A LOT of gay guys on the show this year.
Taylor who is 17 years old and looks 25 chose “If I Ain’t Got You.” This is really tough to sing if you aren’t Alicia Keys. Almost pointless unless you’re her. She can’t hope to do anything but pale in comparison. She wasn't God awful, but she wasn't anything special either. For some reason Kara wants to know what it is like to go shopping with her.
Alex was up next. Seemed totally karaoke and he made very weird noises! I can't even understand how he got to the semi-finals. He reminds me of a muppet singing. Alex (and his parents) looked totally embarrassed by the whole thing. As they should!'
Arianna – She certainly is a cutie. She chose “Winner Takes it All” by Abba. While you can tell that she can sing, her interpretation of this song is strange and all over the place. It’s too bad because when she really starts to sing you can tell what a good voice she has but the rest was just bizarre. My husband says she’ll make it through.
Ju’Not Joyner – Ugh, I did not like this at all. He took a really sweet, hopeful and youthful tune: "Hey There Delilah" and made it morbid. Sounds more like someone on their last leg crawling their way to Delilah. No sir, I don’t like it. And who knew that a cortisone shot in the ass could help your voice?
I like Randy’s vest and I actually like Paula’s watch.
Kristen reminds me of Chrissy Snow from Three’s Company. She did a good job with “Give me one Reason” by Tracy Chapman. I think she's wearing a dress from the wardrobe of Three’s Company’s too!
Do you just love the look of metal boogers hanging out of someone's nose? Well, then Nathaniel's your guy! His moves look like a Jane Fonda aerobics video and the headband isn’t helping either. He doesn’t have a shot in hell on Idol. He should just try to get a job in a musical or something, this is not his gig. He kind of makes my skin crawl!
Felicia – We know she was asked to come back to the competition, we just don’t know why. That's probably the more interesting part. Who did what that they had to be expelled? Who dropped out? I think she picked a good song because I don’t think this is one of those untouchable Alicia Keys songs. I like it, but for AK I thought it was kind of a lower standard. I think she sounds pretty good, the backup singers and band kind of stink though. What’s up with them this year? She’s really pretty, not just cute as a button. I like her.
Scott from Scottsdale (or as you probably know him as "the blind guy")did a nice performance of “Mandolin Rain.” Not great, not bad. I guess he’s going through no matter what because the judges are saying that they can’t wait for everyone to see him play the piano. I'm glad Scott made a joke of Ryan's high-five because honestly, I think Ryan took unnecessary crap on that one (yes, I'm defending Ryan). I don't think he did anything wrong trying to give Scott a high-five and I know from experience. 'nuf said.
Kendall did “This One's for the Girls” and I was impressed by her rich voice. Not so much by Daddy's alligator dance, but Kendall can sing! If I had never heard this song before I would’ve assumed she was the original artist singing it. Very seasoned performance in my opinion. I didn’t like her outfit. Paula liked it because it looked like something she would wear. I didn’t hear any problems with the notes, like the judges mentioned. She's a good country candidate.
Puerto Rican Jorge Nunez said “We have lots of talent” – if that's so, why are you the only Puerto Rican there…oh yeah and Tatiana, let's not forget her. I think Jorge is another gay guy on the show. And oh why why why do they always have to sing this song. YUCK!!!! “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me” I wish the sun would go down on everyone who sings this and leave their charred, steaming corpses on the Idol stage. OK, I guess I don’t mean that…maybe they could just run around like Tom (of Tom & Jerry) with his tail on fire. Yipe Yipe Yipe Yipe! STOP SINGING THIS SONG. I love when Simon says to Paula, “You heart him don’t you?” How funny was that?
I guess he was good, but I really don’t care. I just hate that song so much now.
Aw, look, Georgie’s crying and then he says something in Spanish. And somehow with my overall C- average in Spanish I was able to understand what he said! “I’m so glad to be here.” At least that’s what I got out of it. Not bad, not bad, but he can stay off the roster if you ask me.
Lil Rounds – Is that like Lil – short for Lilly? Or is that like Lil’ Wayne and Lil’ Kim? Wow, a black girl finally sings a Mary J. Blige song. Lil, are you sure you don’t want to sing a Sarah Barreilles song?! I really like this song and this woman is a pro. She just sang and performed the heck out of the song. Kara went all ebonica in her critique: “You still a powerhouse!” --- why doesn’t she critique Jorge in Spanish: “Muy bueno Jorge! Muy bueno!” or tell Nathaniel he was just “fierce (sss), girlfriend” Kara be so racist. ; )
OK, so what do we have here? Well, I really don't know what to expect from the home voters anymore, but I'm going to say, for the girls it should be Lil, for the guys it should be Jorge (groan)and I'm guessing the 3rd vote will go to Scott. I'd like to see Lil, Kendall, Felicia and maybe Von.
Then I guess the judges are going to pick three more from whoever didn't make it. That's going to be tough. I say: Megan Corkrey should definitely be in there. The other two, will probably depend on who's left out of this group.
Your thoughts?
In an outfit straight out of hell, Von Smith took the stage to sing "You're all I need to get by." Von, try wearing something NOT orange. Who wears orange? Honestly. So, Von's a good singer. For being first up he certainly showed more than most of the contestants from previous shows. He's a good performer and he picked a good song. Not to be rude, but the chick with “the teeth” in the audience? What was up with that? Anyone see those choppers? Oh, that's right....Von's from Missouri. The land of missing dentistry. So, I agree with Simon on this one his singing style reminded me of Clay Aiken. I don't know if Von is gay, but there certainly seems to be A LOT of gay guys on the show this year.
Taylor who is 17 years old and looks 25 chose “If I Ain’t Got You.” This is really tough to sing if you aren’t Alicia Keys. Almost pointless unless you’re her. She can’t hope to do anything but pale in comparison. She wasn't God awful, but she wasn't anything special either. For some reason Kara wants to know what it is like to go shopping with her.
Alex was up next. Seemed totally karaoke and he made very weird noises! I can't even understand how he got to the semi-finals. He reminds me of a muppet singing. Alex (and his parents) looked totally embarrassed by the whole thing. As they should!'
Arianna – She certainly is a cutie. She chose “Winner Takes it All” by Abba. While you can tell that she can sing, her interpretation of this song is strange and all over the place. It’s too bad because when she really starts to sing you can tell what a good voice she has but the rest was just bizarre. My husband says she’ll make it through.
Ju’Not Joyner – Ugh, I did not like this at all. He took a really sweet, hopeful and youthful tune: "Hey There Delilah" and made it morbid. Sounds more like someone on their last leg crawling their way to Delilah. No sir, I don’t like it. And who knew that a cortisone shot in the ass could help your voice?
I like Randy’s vest and I actually like Paula’s watch.
Kristen reminds me of Chrissy Snow from Three’s Company. She did a good job with “Give me one Reason” by Tracy Chapman. I think she's wearing a dress from the wardrobe of Three’s Company’s too!
Do you just love the look of metal boogers hanging out of someone's nose? Well, then Nathaniel's your guy! His moves look like a Jane Fonda aerobics video and the headband isn’t helping either. He doesn’t have a shot in hell on Idol. He should just try to get a job in a musical or something, this is not his gig. He kind of makes my skin crawl!
Felicia – We know she was asked to come back to the competition, we just don’t know why. That's probably the more interesting part. Who did what that they had to be expelled? Who dropped out? I think she picked a good song because I don’t think this is one of those untouchable Alicia Keys songs. I like it, but for AK I thought it was kind of a lower standard. I think she sounds pretty good, the backup singers and band kind of stink though. What’s up with them this year? She’s really pretty, not just cute as a button. I like her.
Scott from Scottsdale (or as you probably know him as "the blind guy")did a nice performance of “Mandolin Rain.” Not great, not bad. I guess he’s going through no matter what because the judges are saying that they can’t wait for everyone to see him play the piano. I'm glad Scott made a joke of Ryan's high-five because honestly, I think Ryan took unnecessary crap on that one (yes, I'm defending Ryan). I don't think he did anything wrong trying to give Scott a high-five and I know from experience. 'nuf said.
Kendall did “This One's for the Girls” and I was impressed by her rich voice. Not so much by Daddy's alligator dance, but Kendall can sing! If I had never heard this song before I would’ve assumed she was the original artist singing it. Very seasoned performance in my opinion. I didn’t like her outfit. Paula liked it because it looked like something she would wear. I didn’t hear any problems with the notes, like the judges mentioned. She's a good country candidate.
Puerto Rican Jorge Nunez said “We have lots of talent” – if that's so, why are you the only Puerto Rican there…oh yeah and Tatiana, let's not forget her. I think Jorge is another gay guy on the show. And oh why why why do they always have to sing this song. YUCK!!!! “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me” I wish the sun would go down on everyone who sings this and leave their charred, steaming corpses on the Idol stage. OK, I guess I don’t mean that…maybe they could just run around like Tom (of Tom & Jerry) with his tail on fire. Yipe Yipe Yipe Yipe! STOP SINGING THIS SONG. I love when Simon says to Paula, “You heart him don’t you?” How funny was that?
I guess he was good, but I really don’t care. I just hate that song so much now.
Aw, look, Georgie’s crying and then he says something in Spanish. And somehow with my overall C- average in Spanish I was able to understand what he said! “I’m so glad to be here.” At least that’s what I got out of it. Not bad, not bad, but he can stay off the roster if you ask me.
Lil Rounds – Is that like Lil – short for Lilly? Or is that like Lil’ Wayne and Lil’ Kim? Wow, a black girl finally sings a Mary J. Blige song. Lil, are you sure you don’t want to sing a Sarah Barreilles song?! I really like this song and this woman is a pro. She just sang and performed the heck out of the song. Kara went all ebonica in her critique: “You still a powerhouse!” --- why doesn’t she critique Jorge in Spanish: “Muy bueno Jorge! Muy bueno!” or tell Nathaniel he was just “fierce (sss), girlfriend” Kara be so racist. ; )
OK, so what do we have here? Well, I really don't know what to expect from the home voters anymore, but I'm going to say, for the girls it should be Lil, for the guys it should be Jorge (groan)and I'm guessing the 3rd vote will go to Scott. I'd like to see Lil, Kendall, Felicia and maybe Von.
Then I guess the judges are going to pick three more from whoever didn't make it. That's going to be tough. I say: Megan Corkrey should definitely be in there. The other two, will probably depend on who's left out of this group.
Your thoughts?
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wake Me Up Before You Go Go - Week 2 Semi Finals
Last night was pretty boring, except for the obvious highlight at the end (strategically placed). As a kid I used to sleepwalk, now I think I've taken on sleepwriting.
ThiSSSSSSSSSSSS is American Idol!
Ryan was amped up at the beginning of the show. Little did he know how positively lame his interviews were going to be with the contestants.
What's that dangling peace sign Randy does? Is it an "I'm so cool and lazy I can't even lift my fingers" move or is he somehow giving a shoutout to cows and their udders? It's kinda weird for me for you Randy. And did Simie really change sides of the table because the lighting was bad? I thought the girls were kookie.
Is it just me or does "Kai Kalama" sound like "high calonic?" That's what I thought Ryan said in the intro. Yuck. I won't go there. REALLY. I WON'T go there.
Finally we're to the first contestant....
Jasmine – I’ve always been kinda down on Jasmine because even though she can carry a tune, I don't think she's THAT great and I think her getting in is way more about the "cute" factor. She took a fun vocal and made it really drab. Totally not for her even though she’s young. And sorry, but this is totally a white girl song. I’m sure the rest of the white girls will get up there trying to sound like Whitney, Mariah, or Aretha and this girl, with a low voice no less, picks "Love Song" by Sarah Bareilles?? Blah. Poor Sarah - that's kick in the gut #2 from this show.
Paula’s cleavage is particularly distracting tonight. Not in a good way. At least not for me.
Matt doesn’t LOOK like an Idol. Actually, he looks kind of like Michael Buble with facial hair. Too bad he doesn't sing like him. "Viva La Vida?!" are you for real? You're going to sing that? No. That masterpiece shouldn't be messed with. Matt sounded breathy and the band was SOOOOOOOOO lame compared to the original music. Matt threw in too many runs and was way too pitchy. Why is Randy calling this a "simple song?" I don’t agree with that at all. Ryan tried to protect the song, Chris Martin (in particular) and Cold Play after Randy's comments, which I agree with, but it was a little bizarre how much Ryan made a point out of it. Is he afraid Chris Martin will de-friend him on MySpace or something?
Paula looks like she’s on sleeping pills tonight. Wake up lady! If anything, take the opposite of sleeping pills for this show, because you're going to need it.
Jeanine – “This Love” by Maroon 5 is her choice. OK, are these the whitest black chicks ever on this show? About this point in the show all the old fogies who watch it (there are plenty) are saying, “What the hell are these songs?” Terrible, terrible. Great body (I noted the legs in my notes prior to the judges), bad performance. Well, at least she can do pantyhose commercials. I hated this performance even more than the last two and that’s bad. Even worse, this contestant TALKS. Oh I hate that. “I’m under the radar!!!!” Woe, shut up. “I haven’t blown it yet, I haven’t blown it yet!” Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Is there anything more annoying than when the contestants give a critique of their own performance? "I think I did well" "I disagree" "America decides!" BLAH BLAH BLAH. You were put here to sing, not speak. We hear enough from the four talking heads plus the mannequin host already.
Paula’s ring….can she open that thing up and add magical ingredients to her Coke cup?
"Norman Gentle" was up next. This guy is going to play it out as long as he can. Let's face it, he won't win. He'll just be on long enough for Simon to worry that he could win and then threaten to leave the show (remember the Sanjaya season?) His dad looked really angry at the beginning of his performance, but I guess later he realized the camera was on him and he put on a smile. Is it ridiculous that he’s taking up a spot on this show? In part, yes. But let’s face it, the last three performances were PURE TORTURE and he’s at least been entertaining. Plus, they’ve brought 36 freaking people to this semi-final, so what the heck, why not?! Paula philosophized that "this is America and singers come in all sizes, shapes, and fashions" (she oughta know – she’s been all of them). Later, Ryan asks Paula a question and she brings the show to an utter standstill (Ryan, if I could only warn you, this is just the first of your awkward interview moments tonight). Then, in typical Paula style, she seems not to know she’s been asked a question. Then she apparently forgets how to answer a question so she goes, “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!” Hoooooo boy.
My husband and daughter “HATE” Paula’s hair. Geez....catty, don't you think? ;)
Alison is up. Is it just me, or is it hard to tell whether these people are 28 or 16? They look no different. I guess that's not good for Alison who is 16. Wow, Alison is a SUPER WEIRDO. Good thing she has vocal talent because she’s not going for comedy or public speaking. "Hey Alison, what’s it like being in class?" A: "Well you’re in a room. You’re by yourself. Well you’re not by yourself. It’s easier. It’s a lot of hours. Well it’s not." Maybe this is some kind of conspiracy against Ryan…to just make him look totally awkward. Alison singing “Alone” is better than the previous performances but it still isn’t that great. I predicted that the judges would go wild over it because they're starving for something half-way decent. Prediction correct! Randy: "You blew it out da box" But no, Randy, she didn’t, she really didn't. It was just a'ight and you know it.
Kris Allen - "Man in the Mirror?" Again.....Really?? Really with this song??? What are these people thinking? This guy can't do a Michael Jackson song. (With regard to the song --- can you imagine looking at the man in Michael Jackson’s mirror?! It’s a wonder he doesn’t drop dead each morning!) I thought Kris was OK and that’s it. Nothing special. Seems like a genuine guy, but not really a star.
Oh yay, these performances are downloadable on iTunes! AS IF!!!!
Meagan Corkrey – She is super cute, entertaining, and enjoyable. She’s really different. Not sure what to make of the tattoo sleeve, but it’s all part of the enigma she seems to be. Best performance so far, even with the weird twisting around ("cork"screwing around?) in the Sunday school dress. Finally someone to vote for. She goes through for the girls.
Matt did “If You Could Only See” by Tonic. He’s Ok. If he got up at a party and did this he would blow people away, but I’m not hearing superstar vocals. He’s better than the losers at the top of the program, but again, EH.
Jesse chose Bette Davis Eyes and I thought it was a good choice for her voice. I loved this song when I was a kid. Greatest song ever written? Uh, no. The tone is good but she loses the melody a bit in the middle. I think she was the second best girl but she might have to go wildcard at this point. Plus, she was a BIG talker after her performance which I don't like (see Jeanine's commentary above). Listen, if you have that much to say, go get a blog! ;)
Kai Kalama – I like this guy's wild hair, his warm complexion, he’s one I'm watching right now. Voice is really nice. While I do like the hair I think the Idol stylists will help him out a little. Best guy, so far...but he doesn't stay at the top. I think he'll have to go wildcard as well.
Mishavonna did "Drops of Jupiter" (I know people like this song, but I hate it). Aaaay----aaay----Aaaay----aaay. As every year, one of the major problems with these contestants is that they are trying so hard to perform rather than really being into the song and singing it through and through. Truth be told I don’t know if I can look at her cartoonish face all season (and by cartoonish I'm being kind). The chicks are weird this season, eh?
So Adam from Hollywood comes on and I’m either going to love this guy or hate him. Am I down with the dark hair and eyeliner? Uh, yeah!!! Though there is something troubling about the look. He looks like he tries a little too hard...kinda seems poser-ish. When I heard he was doing "Satisfaction" I thought oh no. That song is SOOOO overrated, but let’s see what he does with it. As uncomfortable as it always makes me feel when guys give "the eyes" to the camera (like Clay Aiken or Constantine or even Justin Guarini did) I have to admit I always secretly like it. It’s so ballsy! This was the only guy to really PERFORM. Man o man. OK, SO I'M TOTALLY ON BOARD!!!! Some people will certainly hate him, but he’s the only one out there SO FAR in the whole competition that used that stage and sang that song. And guess what? That song is DAMN boring and he made it exciting! Adam! Adam! Adam!! Wooo hoooo. A reason to watch the show for another year, yet again. (Don't worry, I promise not to fall in love with him like I did with Jason Castro).
There goes Paula, taking my guys again. ALWAYS. Damn her. Look at her. She’s all out of breath and fawning. Damn you, you cougar!!
Yo! Did you hear the Randy Dog mention My Chemical Romance!!??? Now that's what I'm talking about dawg!! While Adam isn't as cool as Gerard Way, he's got some wicked killer vocals. Wow, what a range! He woke me up before I went went.
So I'll leave you on a high note. Going through tonight: Adam, absolutely....Meagan, pretty certainly, and......well......you know it's probably Norman.
What are your thoughts? Comment or email!
ThiSSSSSSSSSSSS is American Idol!
Ryan was amped up at the beginning of the show. Little did he know how positively lame his interviews were going to be with the contestants.
What's that dangling peace sign Randy does? Is it an "I'm so cool and lazy I can't even lift my fingers" move or is he somehow giving a shoutout to cows and their udders? It's kinda weird for me for you Randy. And did Simie really change sides of the table because the lighting was bad? I thought the girls were kookie.
Is it just me or does "Kai Kalama" sound like "high calonic?" That's what I thought Ryan said in the intro. Yuck. I won't go there. REALLY. I WON'T go there.
Finally we're to the first contestant....
Jasmine – I’ve always been kinda down on Jasmine because even though she can carry a tune, I don't think she's THAT great and I think her getting in is way more about the "cute" factor. She took a fun vocal and made it really drab. Totally not for her even though she’s young. And sorry, but this is totally a white girl song. I’m sure the rest of the white girls will get up there trying to sound like Whitney, Mariah, or Aretha and this girl, with a low voice no less, picks "Love Song" by Sarah Bareilles?? Blah. Poor Sarah - that's kick in the gut #2 from this show.
Paula’s cleavage is particularly distracting tonight. Not in a good way. At least not for me.
Matt doesn’t LOOK like an Idol. Actually, he looks kind of like Michael Buble with facial hair. Too bad he doesn't sing like him. "Viva La Vida?!" are you for real? You're going to sing that? No. That masterpiece shouldn't be messed with. Matt sounded breathy and the band was SOOOOOOOOO lame compared to the original music. Matt threw in too many runs and was way too pitchy. Why is Randy calling this a "simple song?" I don’t agree with that at all. Ryan tried to protect the song, Chris Martin (in particular) and Cold Play after Randy's comments, which I agree with, but it was a little bizarre how much Ryan made a point out of it. Is he afraid Chris Martin will de-friend him on MySpace or something?
Paula looks like she’s on sleeping pills tonight. Wake up lady! If anything, take the opposite of sleeping pills for this show, because you're going to need it.
Jeanine – “This Love” by Maroon 5 is her choice. OK, are these the whitest black chicks ever on this show? About this point in the show all the old fogies who watch it (there are plenty) are saying, “What the hell are these songs?” Terrible, terrible. Great body (I noted the legs in my notes prior to the judges), bad performance. Well, at least she can do pantyhose commercials. I hated this performance even more than the last two and that’s bad. Even worse, this contestant TALKS. Oh I hate that. “I’m under the radar!!!!” Woe, shut up. “I haven’t blown it yet, I haven’t blown it yet!” Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Is there anything more annoying than when the contestants give a critique of their own performance? "I think I did well" "I disagree" "America decides!" BLAH BLAH BLAH. You were put here to sing, not speak. We hear enough from the four talking heads plus the mannequin host already.
Paula’s ring….can she open that thing up and add magical ingredients to her Coke cup?
"Norman Gentle" was up next. This guy is going to play it out as long as he can. Let's face it, he won't win. He'll just be on long enough for Simon to worry that he could win and then threaten to leave the show (remember the Sanjaya season?) His dad looked really angry at the beginning of his performance, but I guess later he realized the camera was on him and he put on a smile. Is it ridiculous that he’s taking up a spot on this show? In part, yes. But let’s face it, the last three performances were PURE TORTURE and he’s at least been entertaining. Plus, they’ve brought 36 freaking people to this semi-final, so what the heck, why not?! Paula philosophized that "this is America and singers come in all sizes, shapes, and fashions" (she oughta know – she’s been all of them). Later, Ryan asks Paula a question and she brings the show to an utter standstill (Ryan, if I could only warn you, this is just the first of your awkward interview moments tonight). Then, in typical Paula style, she seems not to know she’s been asked a question. Then she apparently forgets how to answer a question so she goes, “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!” Hoooooo boy.
My husband and daughter “HATE” Paula’s hair. Geez....catty, don't you think? ;)
Alison is up. Is it just me, or is it hard to tell whether these people are 28 or 16? They look no different. I guess that's not good for Alison who is 16. Wow, Alison is a SUPER WEIRDO. Good thing she has vocal talent because she’s not going for comedy or public speaking. "Hey Alison, what’s it like being in class?" A: "Well you’re in a room. You’re by yourself. Well you’re not by yourself. It’s easier. It’s a lot of hours. Well it’s not." Maybe this is some kind of conspiracy against Ryan…to just make him look totally awkward. Alison singing “Alone” is better than the previous performances but it still isn’t that great. I predicted that the judges would go wild over it because they're starving for something half-way decent. Prediction correct! Randy: "You blew it out da box" But no, Randy, she didn’t, she really didn't. It was just a'ight and you know it.
Kris Allen - "Man in the Mirror?" Again.....Really?? Really with this song??? What are these people thinking? This guy can't do a Michael Jackson song. (With regard to the song --- can you imagine looking at the man in Michael Jackson’s mirror?! It’s a wonder he doesn’t drop dead each morning!) I thought Kris was OK and that’s it. Nothing special. Seems like a genuine guy, but not really a star.
Oh yay, these performances are downloadable on iTunes! AS IF!!!!
Meagan Corkrey – She is super cute, entertaining, and enjoyable. She’s really different. Not sure what to make of the tattoo sleeve, but it’s all part of the enigma she seems to be. Best performance so far, even with the weird twisting around ("cork"screwing around?) in the Sunday school dress. Finally someone to vote for. She goes through for the girls.
Matt did “If You Could Only See” by Tonic. He’s Ok. If he got up at a party and did this he would blow people away, but I’m not hearing superstar vocals. He’s better than the losers at the top of the program, but again, EH.
Jesse chose Bette Davis Eyes and I thought it was a good choice for her voice. I loved this song when I was a kid. Greatest song ever written? Uh, no. The tone is good but she loses the melody a bit in the middle. I think she was the second best girl but she might have to go wildcard at this point. Plus, she was a BIG talker after her performance which I don't like (see Jeanine's commentary above). Listen, if you have that much to say, go get a blog! ;)
Kai Kalama – I like this guy's wild hair, his warm complexion, he’s one I'm watching right now. Voice is really nice. While I do like the hair I think the Idol stylists will help him out a little. Best guy, so far...but he doesn't stay at the top. I think he'll have to go wildcard as well.
Mishavonna did "Drops of Jupiter" (I know people like this song, but I hate it). Aaaay----aaay----Aaaay----aaay. As every year, one of the major problems with these contestants is that they are trying so hard to perform rather than really being into the song and singing it through and through. Truth be told I don’t know if I can look at her cartoonish face all season (and by cartoonish I'm being kind). The chicks are weird this season, eh?
So Adam from Hollywood comes on and I’m either going to love this guy or hate him. Am I down with the dark hair and eyeliner? Uh, yeah!!! Though there is something troubling about the look. He looks like he tries a little too hard...kinda seems poser-ish. When I heard he was doing "Satisfaction" I thought oh no. That song is SOOOO overrated, but let’s see what he does with it. As uncomfortable as it always makes me feel when guys give "the eyes" to the camera (like Clay Aiken or Constantine or even Justin Guarini did) I have to admit I always secretly like it. It’s so ballsy! This was the only guy to really PERFORM. Man o man. OK, SO I'M TOTALLY ON BOARD!!!! Some people will certainly hate him, but he’s the only one out there SO FAR in the whole competition that used that stage and sang that song. And guess what? That song is DAMN boring and he made it exciting! Adam! Adam! Adam!! Wooo hoooo. A reason to watch the show for another year, yet again. (Don't worry, I promise not to fall in love with him like I did with Jason Castro).
There goes Paula, taking my guys again. ALWAYS. Damn her. Look at her. She’s all out of breath and fawning. Damn you, you cougar!!
Yo! Did you hear the Randy Dog mention My Chemical Romance!!??? Now that's what I'm talking about dawg!! While Adam isn't as cool as Gerard Way, he's got some wicked killer vocals. Wow, what a range! He woke me up before I went went.
So I'll leave you on a high note. Going through tonight: Adam, absolutely....Meagan, pretty certainly, and......well......you know it's probably Norman.
What are your thoughts? Comment or email!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
The First Dozen
Yo, yo, yo....here we go!
So last night we were treated to (or exposed to like radiation) the first dozen semi-finalists. Prepare yourself to endure this three more times.
Now despite Randy's claim that this year there is "more talent than we've ever had" (uh....doesn't he say that every year?) last night's show didn't quite back up his claim. Some of the performances were downright abominable, in fact. But we'll get to that later.
Let's start with Jackie from New York. Wackie Jackie. Where to begin, where to begin? OK. The outfit. Big sneakers, black spandax pants, a giant red belt, and a polka-dotted black & white top. It might be the worst outfit I've seen on the show EVER. "A Little Less Conversation" didn't help her much and she came off like kind of a dork. My remarks got me the label of being "just a big Simon" in my house (according to my 11 year old). That's OK, he typically gets it right (as do I!)Is there a resemblance between Jackie and say, a young Linda Lavin (from the TV show "Alice")? ..........wow, I'm aging myself! (Well kiss my grits!) Though, poor wackie Jackie....you can see where she gets her fashion sense from. Check out her beret-wearing Dad and shiny-jacket wearing mom. Sheesh. Yet, this is only one parental fashion faux pas among many to come! Prediction: Jackie doesn't make it this round. She was first (forgettable) and not that great.
Numero Dos was Ricky Braddy, a person who was kept from us during the previous TV coverage. Not sure why they did this, since it isn't like revealing him at this point is some sort of wonderful, unexpected gift. Bad hair, needs a shave, doesn't know how to use the microphone, no star quality (per Me and Simon). Ricky did "A Song for You" which no one on earth will ever do as beautifully as Michael Buble -- I command you to download it now!! So, Ricky didn't stand a chance with me on doing the song justice. I will say he had a nice high note (cue audience = clap, clap) but I think he's the type of guy that knows he has some skills, so he's going to "over the top" every song. You know, he'll stick in runs whenever possible, even if it isn't necessary. The "Braddy Bunch" parents (oh isn't that clever?) got themselves all dressed up for their big TV appearance (NOT). What is with these people. I'd be like, "Mom, Dad! You're not going to the neighborhood block party. Put some effort into it." Prediction: Ricky's not going to make it this round and the Braddy Bunch will have to head back to their inappropraitely sized 3 bedroom home (2 bedrooms and a shared bathroom for 6 kids -- that Mike Brady was some architecht!)
Alexis Grace graced the stage (me use clever play on words!) singing "Never Loved A Man" by Aretha Franklin (minus the giant bow-hat). Randy went all crazy and sh*t. Paula and Kara went on about how cute and petit and young she is and that they can't believe she sounds like that. Why don't they just come out and state the obvious? She's as white as vanilla soft-serve icecream and she's pulling off the tunes of a big, black woman? She was good, but I think they were a little over the top with her. Hey, who out there was confused when Ryan introduced her Dad and they panned to Ted Danson and Neil Patrick Harris? Prediction: She'll get the top girl vote.
The one-dimpled Brent Keith was up next (my son has one dimple as well. I wonder what that's all about? His Dad has two, I have none. Maybe the offspring end up with one? I don't know anything about the science behind dimples). Ok, looking it up...looking it up: Wow! Who knew? Dimples are actually a birth defect! The most common cause is a shortened muscle. Dimples are also a dominant trait...so if neither of your parents have dimples, you're not likely to have them unless you have a spontaneous mutation. So that's your science lesson for the day! See how educational my blog is?! While dimples can be rather endearing, I do have to tell you that they inevitably lead to a wrinkle. Sorry my fine-dimpled friends. Ok, so enough about Brent's lone dimple. First when they tried to introduce Brent they ran into a "tape" problem (the fact that Ryan called it "the tape" made me feel not so old). Brent is cute, but I didn't care for his performance. He even seemed to talk through some of it. Hick Town probably wasn't the best song for him to pick. Paula said he could be like other American Idol country stars "look what Bucky Covington has done." To which Simon said, "What has he done?" Let us not forget that Simon knows absolutely NOTHING about country music. Bucky Covington rules in my opinion! One of the better Idol contestants. Love you Bucky!! (We share the same birthday too). Anyway, Brent doesn't have a chance of making it at this point, probably not later either. He looked like he was crying after his criticism, but maybe he was just looking at his wife's hicktown hairdo from the mid-80s.
Stevie Wright....OMG......she just flat out drowned right before my eyes on that stage. It was like watching a bad act in a middle school talent show. Poor Stevie. Why did Wackie Jackie grab screen time by saying, "I love you" to Stevie's mom? That was weird. Whatever it takes I guess. Stevie's mom had a big, shiny, hideous scarf on....and that's all I gotta say about that. Prediction: no prediction necessary here.
ANOOP! I have to wonder if Randy is going to say, "Anoop dog is in the haaawse" every week? I'm thinking, yeah. Anoop's hair has gotten better since his first audition. Next we'll work on the eyebrows...'kay? I just love Anoop. Not crazy about his song choice, but he still SANG it, am I right? While watching him I came up with a brilliant idea! A boy band made up of only Indian-American teenagers. Cool idea, huh?! OK, don't steal it. PREDICTION: I think Anoop will probably win for the 3rd highest vote. Congratulations also on having the first set of parents to dress with some tact. C'mon native borns....let's get our act together!
Casey Carlson is just the super cutest chickadee I ever did see....but as soon as they announced she was going to do "Everyt Little Thing She Does is Magic" I announced that it would RUIN HER!! I've got witnesses to prove it. First off, just leave this song to Sting. It isn't meant to be covered. It's a unique song and you just can't pull it off. Secondly....she was just horrible all on her own. Didn't move to the song.....should've been jumping all over the stage. She was completely cornball with her cute little winks and weird faces. It was just a disaster. Not sure who was worse, her or Stevie. If she goes through it is only based on looks. Terrible, terrible, terrible. Her mom's leggings and polka-dotted shirt weren't any better either. (Are polka dots back and no one told me?) Prediction: Doesn't make it this time.
Michael Sarver did "I Don't Wanna Be" -- didn't hit the high note in the song. Truth be told I have the nerve to like my guys skinny --- a singer, even skinnier than skinny. So big man Michael is just not for me. Though I'd like to have a beer with him. He was just OK for me, dawg. Prediction: Not going through yet.
I thought Ann Marie picked a good song, until I heard her sing it. I thought "Natural Woman" really suited her, because she does seem like a natural woman. I think she got better half way through, but the beginning was atrocious. When it was suggested that she sing something like "Love Song" by Sarah Bareilles she said, "You mean I should sing something that's not as good?" Woe. SB is not going to be happy 'bout that...eh? I actually think that is a really good song so I don't know why she be hatin' on it. Bad move, newbie. So, after her critique Ann Marie heads back to the group room and sits down on the couch making a weird noise and apparently hurting herself. She said, "Ouch I just sat on the hard part" and Ryan goes all Beavis and Butthead about the comment and can't continue because she said 'hard part.' Grow up, Seacrest. Prediction: Not going through yet.
Stephen Fowler just can't get it right. He takes a fast-paced "Rock With You" and sings it slowly and without much energy. Basically, he bombed. I like the guy, but he's got to figure out what he's doing. Very disappointing. Prediction: Not through this round.
A demure Tatiana del Toro (Tatiana of the Bull?) did "Saving All My Love" which came off OK surprisingly. It is still a shock that this girl can actually sing. Her personality and voice are in such contrast that I'm left speechless. Simon said she is "desperate to be famous." The judges even seemed annoyed that she didn't put on her crazy act. After all, that's the only reason they put her through (RATINGS, PEOPLE). Prediction: No go for tonight.
Danny Gokey did "Hero" (I hope he doesn't only do inspirational songs the whole competition. Give me some dirt, Gokey). It wasn't what I wanted to hear from him, but he did well. Did I think he was BLAZING HOT (Randy) or going to play to SOLD OUT ARENAS (Paula)......no. He's definitely a favorite but they were way over the top. I guess by the end they were really starving for something outstanding. Being the 'Big Simon' that I am, I have to say he was good but I'm not jumping up and down like the three idiots who take up space at the table. Prediction: He'll go through as the top guy.
Alexis, Danny, Anoop. There's your 3 finalists.
Leave me your comments/opinions. Post it here or email me. Let's get this party started.
So last night we were treated to (or exposed to like radiation) the first dozen semi-finalists. Prepare yourself to endure this three more times.
Now despite Randy's claim that this year there is "more talent than we've ever had" (uh....doesn't he say that every year?) last night's show didn't quite back up his claim. Some of the performances were downright abominable, in fact. But we'll get to that later.
Let's start with Jackie from New York. Wackie Jackie. Where to begin, where to begin? OK. The outfit. Big sneakers, black spandax pants, a giant red belt, and a polka-dotted black & white top. It might be the worst outfit I've seen on the show EVER. "A Little Less Conversation" didn't help her much and she came off like kind of a dork. My remarks got me the label of being "just a big Simon" in my house (according to my 11 year old). That's OK, he typically gets it right (as do I!)Is there a resemblance between Jackie and say, a young Linda Lavin (from the TV show "Alice")? ..........wow, I'm aging myself! (Well kiss my grits!) Though, poor wackie Jackie....you can see where she gets her fashion sense from. Check out her beret-wearing Dad and shiny-jacket wearing mom. Sheesh. Yet, this is only one parental fashion faux pas among many to come! Prediction: Jackie doesn't make it this round. She was first (forgettable) and not that great.
Numero Dos was Ricky Braddy, a person who was kept from us during the previous TV coverage. Not sure why they did this, since it isn't like revealing him at this point is some sort of wonderful, unexpected gift. Bad hair, needs a shave, doesn't know how to use the microphone, no star quality (per Me and Simon). Ricky did "A Song for You" which no one on earth will ever do as beautifully as Michael Buble -- I command you to download it now!! So, Ricky didn't stand a chance with me on doing the song justice. I will say he had a nice high note (cue audience = clap, clap) but I think he's the type of guy that knows he has some skills, so he's going to "over the top" every song. You know, he'll stick in runs whenever possible, even if it isn't necessary. The "Braddy Bunch" parents (oh isn't that clever?) got themselves all dressed up for their big TV appearance (NOT). What is with these people. I'd be like, "Mom, Dad! You're not going to the neighborhood block party. Put some effort into it." Prediction: Ricky's not going to make it this round and the Braddy Bunch will have to head back to their inappropraitely sized 3 bedroom home (2 bedrooms and a shared bathroom for 6 kids -- that Mike Brady was some architecht!)
Alexis Grace graced the stage (me use clever play on words!) singing "Never Loved A Man" by Aretha Franklin (minus the giant bow-hat). Randy went all crazy and sh*t. Paula and Kara went on about how cute and petit and young she is and that they can't believe she sounds like that. Why don't they just come out and state the obvious? She's as white as vanilla soft-serve icecream and she's pulling off the tunes of a big, black woman? She was good, but I think they were a little over the top with her. Hey, who out there was confused when Ryan introduced her Dad and they panned to Ted Danson and Neil Patrick Harris? Prediction: She'll get the top girl vote.
The one-dimpled Brent Keith was up next (my son has one dimple as well. I wonder what that's all about? His Dad has two, I have none. Maybe the offspring end up with one? I don't know anything about the science behind dimples). Ok, looking it up...looking it up: Wow! Who knew? Dimples are actually a birth defect! The most common cause is a shortened muscle. Dimples are also a dominant trait...so if neither of your parents have dimples, you're not likely to have them unless you have a spontaneous mutation. So that's your science lesson for the day! See how educational my blog is?! While dimples can be rather endearing, I do have to tell you that they inevitably lead to a wrinkle. Sorry my fine-dimpled friends. Ok, so enough about Brent's lone dimple. First when they tried to introduce Brent they ran into a "tape" problem (the fact that Ryan called it "the tape" made me feel not so old). Brent is cute, but I didn't care for his performance. He even seemed to talk through some of it. Hick Town probably wasn't the best song for him to pick. Paula said he could be like other American Idol country stars "look what Bucky Covington has done." To which Simon said, "What has he done?" Let us not forget that Simon knows absolutely NOTHING about country music. Bucky Covington rules in my opinion! One of the better Idol contestants. Love you Bucky!! (We share the same birthday too). Anyway, Brent doesn't have a chance of making it at this point, probably not later either. He looked like he was crying after his criticism, but maybe he was just looking at his wife's hicktown hairdo from the mid-80s.
Stevie Wright....OMG......she just flat out drowned right before my eyes on that stage. It was like watching a bad act in a middle school talent show. Poor Stevie. Why did Wackie Jackie grab screen time by saying, "I love you" to Stevie's mom? That was weird. Whatever it takes I guess. Stevie's mom had a big, shiny, hideous scarf on....and that's all I gotta say about that. Prediction: no prediction necessary here.
ANOOP! I have to wonder if Randy is going to say, "Anoop dog is in the haaawse" every week? I'm thinking, yeah. Anoop's hair has gotten better since his first audition. Next we'll work on the eyebrows...'kay? I just love Anoop. Not crazy about his song choice, but he still SANG it, am I right? While watching him I came up with a brilliant idea! A boy band made up of only Indian-American teenagers. Cool idea, huh?! OK, don't steal it. PREDICTION: I think Anoop will probably win for the 3rd highest vote. Congratulations also on having the first set of parents to dress with some tact. C'mon native borns....let's get our act together!
Casey Carlson is just the super cutest chickadee I ever did see....but as soon as they announced she was going to do "Everyt Little Thing She Does is Magic" I announced that it would RUIN HER!! I've got witnesses to prove it. First off, just leave this song to Sting. It isn't meant to be covered. It's a unique song and you just can't pull it off. Secondly....she was just horrible all on her own. Didn't move to the song.....should've been jumping all over the stage. She was completely cornball with her cute little winks and weird faces. It was just a disaster. Not sure who was worse, her or Stevie. If she goes through it is only based on looks. Terrible, terrible, terrible. Her mom's leggings and polka-dotted shirt weren't any better either. (Are polka dots back and no one told me?) Prediction: Doesn't make it this time.
Michael Sarver did "I Don't Wanna Be" -- didn't hit the high note in the song. Truth be told I have the nerve to like my guys skinny --- a singer, even skinnier than skinny. So big man Michael is just not for me. Though I'd like to have a beer with him. He was just OK for me, dawg. Prediction: Not going through yet.
I thought Ann Marie picked a good song, until I heard her sing it. I thought "Natural Woman" really suited her, because she does seem like a natural woman. I think she got better half way through, but the beginning was atrocious. When it was suggested that she sing something like "Love Song" by Sarah Bareilles she said, "You mean I should sing something that's not as good?" Woe. SB is not going to be happy 'bout that...eh? I actually think that is a really good song so I don't know why she be hatin' on it. Bad move, newbie. So, after her critique Ann Marie heads back to the group room and sits down on the couch making a weird noise and apparently hurting herself. She said, "Ouch I just sat on the hard part" and Ryan goes all Beavis and Butthead about the comment and can't continue because she said 'hard part.' Grow up, Seacrest. Prediction: Not going through yet.
Stephen Fowler just can't get it right. He takes a fast-paced "Rock With You" and sings it slowly and without much energy. Basically, he bombed. I like the guy, but he's got to figure out what he's doing. Very disappointing. Prediction: Not through this round.
A demure Tatiana del Toro (Tatiana of the Bull?) did "Saving All My Love" which came off OK surprisingly. It is still a shock that this girl can actually sing. Her personality and voice are in such contrast that I'm left speechless. Simon said she is "desperate to be famous." The judges even seemed annoyed that she didn't put on her crazy act. After all, that's the only reason they put her through (RATINGS, PEOPLE). Prediction: No go for tonight.
Danny Gokey did "Hero" (I hope he doesn't only do inspirational songs the whole competition. Give me some dirt, Gokey). It wasn't what I wanted to hear from him, but he did well. Did I think he was BLAZING HOT (Randy) or going to play to SOLD OUT ARENAS (Paula)......no. He's definitely a favorite but they were way over the top. I guess by the end they were really starving for something outstanding. Being the 'Big Simon' that I am, I have to say he was good but I'm not jumping up and down like the three idiots who take up space at the table. Prediction: He'll go through as the top guy.
Alexis, Danny, Anoop. There's your 3 finalists.
Leave me your comments/opinions. Post it here or email me. Let's get this party started.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The Grammy's & Hollywood Week Continued
I couldn't pass up the opportunity to rap a little bit about the recent Grammy show. I give credit to the producers for taking a show that used to drag and be a bit boring to making it into a much more entertaining, smoothly flowing event. Props to the Grammy's. I guess I decided to whip out my notebook when Whitney Houston presented the first award. It was just too kookie to pass up. Ms. "Crack is Wack" herself didn't seem the drug-addled mess we've seen in the past, but there are definitely whole sections of brain that have been pickled. What was up with her showing off her legs and talking like Tina Turner? Just one more bizarre chapter in Whit's show business career. She's a far cry from the girl in the I Wanna Dance With Somebody" video. Yet, I'm not saying I want to hear that either.
OK, who thought Jennifer Hudson looked like she was wearing a paper bib when she won that award? (God bless her family member's souls) but a bad dress is a bad dress.
Apparently, The Rock "lives for the Grammy's" -- who knew? Justin Timberlake lives for Al Green (the General Store joke totally flopped).
Chris Martin and Coldplay are the new gods. They've been good for a while, but Vida La Viva is really just an incredible song. Man did he look good in his little outfit, sorta half-shirt! I heart Apple's Daddy! How about the Coldplay guy that hits the drums like an Ape? That was cool.
Sixteen year old Miley Cyrus ("It's Miley!!!" (all hail Joe McHale (that will be the name of my next blogsite!) and nineteen year old Taylor Swift sing about all the wisdom they have on being a naive 15 year old. Sigh....where did the one year go? I could've lived without that performance.
Robert Plant looked like a Mountain Man. I'm sorry but that Sand album is BOR-ING.
Jo Bros with Stevie Wonder....first off....Joe Jonas is hot, I don't care if my daughter says Nick is cuter. Though Joe looked like he had a stomach-roll with his stretchy shirt over tight pants. Anyone notice that? How about when he fixed Stevie's microphone to face the right way? Anyone notice that? How about when Nick said, "Do you mind if I take this!?" to Stevie and then screwed up the words to "Superstition" -- I KNOW you noticed that!
The only other noteworthy things I can think of are: Blink 182 are back, Katy Perry looked good (I've heard her sound better, but she was moving around a lot), Kanye West -- all I can notice is how he says NOW as "NA" Adele, cute chubby Brit chick, good voice. She won for best new artist. I think she should've ditched the gum for her acceptance speech. The best thing about the "Rap Summit" was MIA who was ready to deliver her baby. After that.....I went to bed and FFW through the DVR of it....Billie Joe Armstrong and Green Day presented Best Album and he is soooooooo dreamy, even as a blonde! If Green Day can match their last recording effort I'd be amazed, but looking forward to their next offering.
OK, now onto the amateurs on American Idol....
Adam did Cher's "Do You Believe" and if you didn't watch --- he sounded exactly like a woman.
Matt, the piano player has big time soul. Kara was a little too excited though.
Jamar's Hey Their Delilah wasn't that great. I'm not a huge fan.
Danny Gokey - his friend - I am a fan. He did "I hope you dance."
Anoop did a Bobby Brown song....who knew an Indian guy could have so much soul?
Jorge - I'm still not impressed.
Scott --- he sounded a little out of breath. Of course my notes say that, but I can't remember who this is.
Kristin McNamara - the blonde who Ryan played a trick on - she's got a good voice but she overdid "Because of You"
Mishavonna - that's a weird name.
Found it amusing when they showed the judges going over the contestant board making their decisions. They made it look like they were some genius scientists working on the process of fusion or something. Give me a break.
So, they kissed Simon goodbye and off to London and then the really horrible acting ensues...I can see why Simon didn't want to take part! Paula made herself look 20 years older than she is with her drawn looking face and the shaky voice was just really over the top. But Kara. Kara was the worst. The bending down like "this is so hard" was so obviously an act. If I were in that room I'd know I was going through. I also knew last night that 3 rooms were going through. No Castro bro this year. Boo hoo.
Tonight we get to see the judge's MANSION...oooooooooh!
Here's some predictions on who won't go through: Jamar, Jorge, Tatiana, and "Norman Gentle" --- expect to see some go through that you haven't seen before. They hold back on us.
OK, tonight Hollywood week will finally be over! Thank you JESUS.
OK, who thought Jennifer Hudson looked like she was wearing a paper bib when she won that award? (God bless her family member's souls) but a bad dress is a bad dress.
Apparently, The Rock "lives for the Grammy's" -- who knew? Justin Timberlake lives for Al Green (the General Store joke totally flopped).
Chris Martin and Coldplay are the new gods. They've been good for a while, but Vida La Viva is really just an incredible song. Man did he look good in his little outfit, sorta half-shirt! I heart Apple's Daddy! How about the Coldplay guy that hits the drums like an Ape? That was cool.
Sixteen year old Miley Cyrus ("It's Miley!!!" (all hail Joe McHale (that will be the name of my next blogsite!) and nineteen year old Taylor Swift sing about all the wisdom they have on being a naive 15 year old. Sigh....where did the one year go? I could've lived without that performance.
Robert Plant looked like a Mountain Man. I'm sorry but that Sand album is BOR-ING.
Jo Bros with Stevie Wonder....first off....Joe Jonas is hot, I don't care if my daughter says Nick is cuter. Though Joe looked like he had a stomach-roll with his stretchy shirt over tight pants. Anyone notice that? How about when he fixed Stevie's microphone to face the right way? Anyone notice that? How about when Nick said, "Do you mind if I take this!?" to Stevie and then screwed up the words to "Superstition" -- I KNOW you noticed that!
The only other noteworthy things I can think of are: Blink 182 are back, Katy Perry looked good (I've heard her sound better, but she was moving around a lot), Kanye West -- all I can notice is how he says NOW as "NA" Adele, cute chubby Brit chick, good voice. She won for best new artist. I think she should've ditched the gum for her acceptance speech. The best thing about the "Rap Summit" was MIA who was ready to deliver her baby. After that.....I went to bed and FFW through the DVR of it....Billie Joe Armstrong and Green Day presented Best Album and he is soooooooo dreamy, even as a blonde! If Green Day can match their last recording effort I'd be amazed, but looking forward to their next offering.
OK, now onto the amateurs on American Idol....
Adam did Cher's "Do You Believe" and if you didn't watch --- he sounded exactly like a woman.
Matt, the piano player has big time soul. Kara was a little too excited though.
Jamar's Hey Their Delilah wasn't that great. I'm not a huge fan.
Danny Gokey - his friend - I am a fan. He did "I hope you dance."
Anoop did a Bobby Brown song....who knew an Indian guy could have so much soul?
Jorge - I'm still not impressed.
Scott --- he sounded a little out of breath. Of course my notes say that, but I can't remember who this is.
Kristin McNamara - the blonde who Ryan played a trick on - she's got a good voice but she overdid "Because of You"
Mishavonna - that's a weird name.
Found it amusing when they showed the judges going over the contestant board making their decisions. They made it look like they were some genius scientists working on the process of fusion or something. Give me a break.
So, they kissed Simon goodbye and off to London and then the really horrible acting ensues...I can see why Simon didn't want to take part! Paula made herself look 20 years older than she is with her drawn looking face and the shaky voice was just really over the top. But Kara. Kara was the worst. The bending down like "this is so hard" was so obviously an act. If I were in that room I'd know I was going through. I also knew last night that 3 rooms were going through. No Castro bro this year. Boo hoo.
Tonight we get to see the judge's MANSION...oooooooooh!
Here's some predictions on who won't go through: Jamar, Jorge, Tatiana, and "Norman Gentle" --- expect to see some go through that you haven't seen before. They hold back on us.
OK, tonight Hollywood week will finally be over! Thank you JESUS.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Recap of Utah, San Juan, New York, and Hollywood
Wow, so it's been a while.....and look how far we haven't come. The Idol train just keeps on chugging along, with the speed of an 80 year old with a fist full of coupons in the checkout lane. Sigh................
I will do my best to remedy this by recapping recent events as quickly as bloggingly possible!
The Idol judges visited Utah "the friendliest place on earth" where everyone is blonde and polite (and an Osmond). Yes, an Osmond boy came out to play...and of course he got through to Hollywood. Now here's a montage of the rest of the auditioners -- goth girl with ESP in too tight, too short outfit (Kara says, "We didn't mean to hurt your feelings honey." Snicker, snicker...); A singer with a friend in a bunny suit. I'm sure Simon's picked up some bunnies in his time, but this was probably the first one who's picked him up. Ryan gave a speech to the room of auditioners -- fight for your right to sing or something like that. Rah Rah Ryan. Rah Rah. Frankie Jordan looked like a healthy Amy Winehouse and did an Amy Winehouse song (good choice). Meagan Corkery, the young divorced chick had a very different voice. Really liked her. Austin, Mr. President of the student body, Mr. Positive tells the judges, "You don't want me to fail." I guess they were persuaded by his power of positive thinking and they let him go through. I found him to be quite scary! A 16-year old who moved with her family from the islands to realize her singing dream (and they went to Utah??) was really good and seemed way older than 16. Rose, the hippie chick, who's parents died. Loved her voice and look. Definitely didn't sound 17 years old.
San Juan, Puerto Rico and New York....is there really a difference? Yes. New York has more Puerto Ricans!
Puerto Rico was pretty much a waste of time I think. There were some cool people to go through in New York. The enlightened, nearly bald, bare-footed black chick...she was really good but won't care about winning much. Jackie, a bluesy girl who has a scratchy voice and is very different. Norman Gentle with the headband who started off with a Mary Catherine Gallagher impression and then ended with a Simon/Seacrest joke. Loved that. He can sing, but he's not a great singer. I got a very quick glimpse of a "Kenny" from Havertown, PA and wrote down "OH YES" --- only to find out he's a son of a friend of a friend of mine (now I have to feel guilty because he's like 17 years old). Alexis came back (remember, Take it! Take it! Take it! from last year?) and was worse. She gave them the finger.
Hollywood week (which by the way --- this is a total scam because it is going to last TWO WEEKS for us!) started out with Professor Barry Manilow.
First to get booted was Dennis with the big overbite. He said, "That's ya'lls decision." Yeah, you noticed, Dennis? Whining, crying, sissy Nathaniel said that music is "on his skin and bursts out of him" everytime he's on stage. Let's just hope he wasn't talking about some infectious disease. I'm getting tired at about this point and just have notes like: Anoop! Rose! Stephen Fowler - nice! How did Von get through? Jorge - Kara called him George. Danny - Kiss from a Rose. Norman Gentle - knows he can't compete, so just playing it all the way. And he goes through! Must be for ratings. "Bikini Girl" -- with all the carrying on you'd think we've never seen a girl in a bikini before. What ridiculous hoopla over this. Can't you see that just about any night of the week on any TV channel? What is the big deal? I did find it amusing that when she started kissing Ryan again he squeaked out a little, "I can't." Some girl got sent home and she tried to get them to give her another chance. I think she blew it when she eventually used, "It's my husband's birthday."
Group day --- Ryan uses terms like "blood bath" and "talent like you've never seen before" and "you won't believe what happens on stage" and about 50 "after the breaks" Not much to say about it other than a group named White Chocolate had a great presentation. Some guy said he felt manipulated and assaulted and he saw evil in Paula's eyes (that wasn't evil, that was Percaset!) We find out that Bikini girl has scoliosis and a severe case of the losers. Tatiana is pure crazy. She and her group all sounded terrible and they all went through. "Thank you Jesus!" Finally, annoying gay dude carries on "I tried my huh-huh-huh-hardest!!!!" and somehow gets through to the next round despite his mediocre ability to sing and perform. Let's bring back the kid with the big lips and attitude from last year. At least he had style.
OK, that's it. As fast as I could people! I think next week they'll finally put an end to this drawn out process and give us the finalists. See you then!
I will do my best to remedy this by recapping recent events as quickly as bloggingly possible!
The Idol judges visited Utah "the friendliest place on earth" where everyone is blonde and polite (and an Osmond). Yes, an Osmond boy came out to play...and of course he got through to Hollywood. Now here's a montage of the rest of the auditioners -- goth girl with ESP in too tight, too short outfit (Kara says, "We didn't mean to hurt your feelings honey." Snicker, snicker...); A singer with a friend in a bunny suit. I'm sure Simon's picked up some bunnies in his time, but this was probably the first one who's picked him up. Ryan gave a speech to the room of auditioners -- fight for your right to sing or something like that. Rah Rah Ryan. Rah Rah. Frankie Jordan looked like a healthy Amy Winehouse and did an Amy Winehouse song (good choice). Meagan Corkery, the young divorced chick had a very different voice. Really liked her. Austin, Mr. President of the student body, Mr. Positive tells the judges, "You don't want me to fail." I guess they were persuaded by his power of positive thinking and they let him go through. I found him to be quite scary! A 16-year old who moved with her family from the islands to realize her singing dream (and they went to Utah??) was really good and seemed way older than 16. Rose, the hippie chick, who's parents died. Loved her voice and look. Definitely didn't sound 17 years old.
San Juan, Puerto Rico and New York....is there really a difference? Yes. New York has more Puerto Ricans!
Puerto Rico was pretty much a waste of time I think. There were some cool people to go through in New York. The enlightened, nearly bald, bare-footed black chick...she was really good but won't care about winning much. Jackie, a bluesy girl who has a scratchy voice and is very different. Norman Gentle with the headband who started off with a Mary Catherine Gallagher impression and then ended with a Simon/Seacrest joke. Loved that. He can sing, but he's not a great singer. I got a very quick glimpse of a "Kenny" from Havertown, PA and wrote down "OH YES" --- only to find out he's a son of a friend of a friend of mine (now I have to feel guilty because he's like 17 years old). Alexis came back (remember, Take it! Take it! Take it! from last year?) and was worse. She gave them the finger.
Hollywood week (which by the way --- this is a total scam because it is going to last TWO WEEKS for us!) started out with Professor Barry Manilow.
First to get booted was Dennis with the big overbite. He said, "That's ya'lls decision." Yeah, you noticed, Dennis? Whining, crying, sissy Nathaniel said that music is "on his skin and bursts out of him" everytime he's on stage. Let's just hope he wasn't talking about some infectious disease. I'm getting tired at about this point and just have notes like: Anoop! Rose! Stephen Fowler - nice! How did Von get through? Jorge - Kara called him George. Danny - Kiss from a Rose. Norman Gentle - knows he can't compete, so just playing it all the way. And he goes through! Must be for ratings. "Bikini Girl" -- with all the carrying on you'd think we've never seen a girl in a bikini before. What ridiculous hoopla over this. Can't you see that just about any night of the week on any TV channel? What is the big deal? I did find it amusing that when she started kissing Ryan again he squeaked out a little, "I can't." Some girl got sent home and she tried to get them to give her another chance. I think she blew it when she eventually used, "It's my husband's birthday."
Group day --- Ryan uses terms like "blood bath" and "talent like you've never seen before" and "you won't believe what happens on stage" and about 50 "after the breaks" Not much to say about it other than a group named White Chocolate had a great presentation. Some guy said he felt manipulated and assaulted and he saw evil in Paula's eyes (that wasn't evil, that was Percaset!) We find out that Bikini girl has scoliosis and a severe case of the losers. Tatiana is pure crazy. She and her group all sounded terrible and they all went through. "Thank you Jesus!" Finally, annoying gay dude carries on "I tried my huh-huh-huh-hardest!!!!" and somehow gets through to the next round despite his mediocre ability to sing and perform. Let's bring back the kid with the big lips and attitude from last year. At least he had style.
OK, that's it. As fast as I could people! I think next week they'll finally put an end to this drawn out process and give us the finalists. See you then!
For My Adoring Fans....
Hey, is anybody out there? Hellooooooo! Well, anyone who's been waiting for an update, never fear, I will be back. Writing full-time for a living makes it a little hard to write for fun and for the people! :) Look for an update later today. Boy, is this American Idol dragging on or what?
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Dawg Town - Idol Hits "Jackson"ville -- what what?!
So, last night the Idol crew took their caravan of crazy down to sunny Jacksonville, Florida. In a bizzare twist, the city they went to had one of the judge's names in it...Randy Jackson....Jackson-ville. Wow, that is just too unbelievable to ignore....so ignore it they did not. An entire intro to the city revolved around the top dawg himself.....the man so famous for being in the rock band, Journey (hands up, who remembers Randy being in Journey? I swear I never saw a black man in Journey! How did I miss that?)
So once we got over that exciting connection, we were on with the show.
First up Joshua who compares himself to Justin Guarini...thinks this will make him "memorable." Ah yes, the shining star that is Justin Guarini. There are scores of papparazzi just camped outside of Mr. Guarini's mansion as we speak. So, Joshua-Justin went through to Hollywood. No chance, no chance.
A cute girl brought in a cute dog. She sang "Superstar" but had a very odd voice. It was raspy and then cutesy. I didn't know what to make of it. Then on top of that Kara and Paula did this fake kiss thing and Kara said she was waiting for Simon to make a move on her. Hey people, there's a contestant here!!! Do they let these women out of a psychiatric ward once a year just to do this show? What is wrong with them?
A Latina girl with a goofy laugh did a Whitney Houston song and it turned out to be OK in the end. I actually liked her...thought she was pretty down to earth. Now for who's NOT down to earth.....Paula from planet Prescriptionpillz had a breakdown because she wasn't invited to give her opinion. She walked away sobbing and said she "couldn't do it" when the contestant went and fetched her saying, "But you've been doing it for 8 seasons!" and then returned trying to act like she was just kidding. You could tell from Kara's and Simon's expressions that they were thinking, "Oh oh...there goes 'crazy' again." I knew it would be only a matter of time before Paula's brain imploded over there being a 4th judge. I think the kiss she was trying to give Kara was really the kiss of death!! By the way, this contestant...very likeable, but like the other ones that went through to Hollywood tonight, she's not going to cut it.
Blonde Naomi walks in and says she has a friend who is Randy's #1 fan. The fan comes in and sits on Randy's lap. Not to be outdone by Randy and the Randy fan, Paula sits on Simon's lap. Ryan is then invited to come in and sit on Kara's lap. Ryan leaves as soon as he can, feeling totally uncomfortable being that close to a woman. Blonde girl can't sing. They ask her if it was a joke. Strike 2. Girl cries.
Jasmine, who did the Fergie "Personal" song had a REALLY annoying voice and they told her she was good and sent her off to Hollywood. Another one who won't make it.
George, who studies physics, is 18 years old, yet I contend that his beard is actually 40 years old. All nutty George wants in life is a simple house with marble floors. We are living in a world where a simple house has marble floors and people who work in cubicles call themselves "blue collar." I'm starting to feel pretty smart (and sane) watching this show! No need to discuss whether he could sing or not.
Kara wore brown eye makeup on day 2 and it looked better than the whore gray she has been wearing. Yet her blouses cancelled out the improvement.
T.K. came in and did "Imagine." I just imagine a world where no one tried to sing this song. That's my eutopia.
Ah the Jacksonville skyline....they keep showing it.....why....I have no idea.
I'll end on the young, guitar-carrying, crying Michael Perelli. I actually would have liked him to go through. Poor baby. I'd like to give him a hug but he'd probably screech "Don't touch me!" like he did to his mom.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention Anne Marie who they had come back with a little more makeup. She will do very well and go to the next level. That's one contenstant for Jacksonville. She was great. Watch out for her.
Tonight....Salt Lake City.....where you can only get "near-Beer" (3.2%) but are more than welcome to take a wife or two or five.
So once we got over that exciting connection, we were on with the show.
First up Joshua who compares himself to Justin Guarini...thinks this will make him "memorable." Ah yes, the shining star that is Justin Guarini. There are scores of papparazzi just camped outside of Mr. Guarini's mansion as we speak. So, Joshua-Justin went through to Hollywood. No chance, no chance.
A cute girl brought in a cute dog. She sang "Superstar" but had a very odd voice. It was raspy and then cutesy. I didn't know what to make of it. Then on top of that Kara and Paula did this fake kiss thing and Kara said she was waiting for Simon to make a move on her. Hey people, there's a contestant here!!! Do they let these women out of a psychiatric ward once a year just to do this show? What is wrong with them?
A Latina girl with a goofy laugh did a Whitney Houston song and it turned out to be OK in the end. I actually liked her...thought she was pretty down to earth. Now for who's NOT down to earth.....Paula from planet Prescriptionpillz had a breakdown because she wasn't invited to give her opinion. She walked away sobbing and said she "couldn't do it" when the contestant went and fetched her saying, "But you've been doing it for 8 seasons!" and then returned trying to act like she was just kidding. You could tell from Kara's and Simon's expressions that they were thinking, "Oh oh...there goes 'crazy' again." I knew it would be only a matter of time before Paula's brain imploded over there being a 4th judge. I think the kiss she was trying to give Kara was really the kiss of death!! By the way, this contestant...very likeable, but like the other ones that went through to Hollywood tonight, she's not going to cut it.
Blonde Naomi walks in and says she has a friend who is Randy's #1 fan. The fan comes in and sits on Randy's lap. Not to be outdone by Randy and the Randy fan, Paula sits on Simon's lap. Ryan is then invited to come in and sit on Kara's lap. Ryan leaves as soon as he can, feeling totally uncomfortable being that close to a woman. Blonde girl can't sing. They ask her if it was a joke. Strike 2. Girl cries.
Jasmine, who did the Fergie "Personal" song had a REALLY annoying voice and they told her she was good and sent her off to Hollywood. Another one who won't make it.
George, who studies physics, is 18 years old, yet I contend that his beard is actually 40 years old. All nutty George wants in life is a simple house with marble floors. We are living in a world where a simple house has marble floors and people who work in cubicles call themselves "blue collar." I'm starting to feel pretty smart (and sane) watching this show! No need to discuss whether he could sing or not.
Kara wore brown eye makeup on day 2 and it looked better than the whore gray she has been wearing. Yet her blouses cancelled out the improvement.
T.K. came in and did "Imagine." I just imagine a world where no one tried to sing this song. That's my eutopia.
Ah the Jacksonville skyline....they keep showing it.....why....I have no idea.
I'll end on the young, guitar-carrying, crying Michael Perelli. I actually would have liked him to go through. Poor baby. I'd like to give him a hug but he'd probably screech "Don't touch me!" like he did to his mom.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention Anne Marie who they had come back with a little more makeup. She will do very well and go to the next level. That's one contenstant for Jacksonville. She was great. Watch out for her.
Tonight....Salt Lake City.....where you can only get "near-Beer" (3.2%) but are more than welcome to take a wife or two or five.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Getting On Board
Slowly but surely, we're all coming together on the blog. Thank you EPerry, ToniG, Gu, Donna/Meagan, and Wolf Eyes (looking forward to figuring out who you are!) for joining the blog (becoming a watcher). Also, thanks for the 3 comments left and those of you who have voted at the bottom. At the same time, THREE COMMENTS, and FIVE watchers this is pretty pitiful people!!!
So, I'm writing this to get you guys on board. I'll keep trying....after all, the season isn't really in full swing yet.
I have heard this from a few:
"I don't know what a blog is" -- well, THIS is a blog. It is just the same email I used to send you but posted up on a website. The term blog comes from web log.
How do I watch the blog?
On the right side you'll see FOLLOW THIS BLOG. Click on that. If you already have a Gmail address, you can use that. If you don't, a Gmail address is free and it's a cool thing to have. Just an extra email address, nothing scary folks. It can be a great way to separate out different kinds of mail.
After that you can follow publicly or follow anonymously. Of course, following publicly makes it a lot more fun for the rest of us!
Where do I comment?
At the end of the post (the thing I write) there is a thing that says COMMENTS. Just click on that and you can enter your comments.
How do I read the comments?
Just click on comments! A number will be there showing how many comments have been made.
How can I send this to a friend?
There is a little envelope next to the COMMENTS. Click on that and you can enter your friend's email address. Of course if you'd rather just copy the link at the top and send it to them through your regular email you can do that as well.
How do I vote?
At the bottom of the page is a new poll every week. Just click and vote!
What if I want to read an old post?
Since my posts are rather LENGTHY, I am only showing one post at a time. Go to the right side for the archives and click on the title you want to read.
Other ways to follow the blog:
There is a SUBSCRIBE IN A READER at the top. If you have a Google account, just click on Google and you can get the blog in a Reader. That means it will bring the entire post into your Reader on Google and you can read it from there. It will bring it in automatically with no effort from you to go to the blog page. Very Cool.....but perhaps too technical for some.
What if I'm still confused?
Just email me at my regular email address!
What if I don't like your blog format?
Just email me and tell me! I'm open to improving it. One person told me it is hard to read white on black. Do others feel that way? Leave me a comment!
I think that should cover a lot of the new-fangled blogging thing!
So, I'm writing this to get you guys on board. I'll keep trying....after all, the season isn't really in full swing yet.
I have heard this from a few:
"I don't know what a blog is" -- well, THIS is a blog. It is just the same email I used to send you but posted up on a website. The term blog comes from web log.
How do I watch the blog?
On the right side you'll see FOLLOW THIS BLOG. Click on that. If you already have a Gmail address, you can use that. If you don't, a Gmail address is free and it's a cool thing to have. Just an extra email address, nothing scary folks. It can be a great way to separate out different kinds of mail.
After that you can follow publicly or follow anonymously. Of course, following publicly makes it a lot more fun for the rest of us!
Where do I comment?
At the end of the post (the thing I write) there is a thing that says COMMENTS. Just click on that and you can enter your comments.
How do I read the comments?
Just click on comments! A number will be there showing how many comments have been made.
How can I send this to a friend?
There is a little envelope next to the COMMENTS. Click on that and you can enter your friend's email address. Of course if you'd rather just copy the link at the top and send it to them through your regular email you can do that as well.
How do I vote?
At the bottom of the page is a new poll every week. Just click and vote!
What if I want to read an old post?
Since my posts are rather LENGTHY, I am only showing one post at a time. Go to the right side for the archives and click on the title you want to read.
Other ways to follow the blog:
There is a SUBSCRIBE IN A READER at the top. If you have a Google account, just click on Google and you can get the blog in a Reader. That means it will bring the entire post into your Reader on Google and you can read it from there. It will bring it in automatically with no effort from you to go to the blog page. Very Cool.....but perhaps too technical for some.
What if I'm still confused?
Just email me at my regular email address!
What if I don't like your blog format?
Just email me and tell me! I'm open to improving it. One person told me it is hard to read white on black. Do others feel that way? Leave me a comment!
I think that should cover a lot of the new-fangled blogging thing!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Hello Frisco! Goodbye Loserville!
This week's auditions brought us to San Francisco and Louisville...insert multiple scenes of that red bridge and race horses.
In Frisco we started with Tatiana, who thought she was wonderful (and claims to be Puerto Rican) and was pretty much over-the-top crazy. Turns out Crazy can sing. She's going to Hollywood, where all will certainly hate her.
There was a very white, excessivley pasty guy with red hair who I thought I might actually catch some disease from just by watching him on TV. Scary.
Someone chose to sing "We Built This City" by Jefferson Starship...a song that no one should EVER, EVER, EVER sing, including Jefferson Starship. What in the hell where they thinking when they wrote that?
Enter the failed entrepreneur with the wild jacket and a smile as wide as Randy's behind. Simon said he had fake hair color. He was pretty spastic and didn't make it. Nice guy though.
Now you know the show has really gotten big when Jesus comes to audition. That's right, Jesus, right there in front of Randy, Paula, Simon, and (do I have to say it?) Kara. Well how can you not put Jesus through to Hollywood? Everyone be lovin' Jesus! We'll have to see if Jesus can make the final cut though, down the road. Without his loyal followers, especially the children, and their signs of "We Love You Jesus!" I think he will not make it to the next round.
Some guy who could do the Rubik's Cube sang "Baby Baby" and I had no idea what song he was singing.
Now, here's someone with a talent. I think her name was Aquila Eshew Goldstein? Though she couldn't pronounce anything right, so it only fits that I can't get her name right. She was the one who studied the biological tems for the throat. She could sing acapellaly and knew all about the trayshea. When she tried to sing in front of the judges, her voice, unfortunately, came from the wrong rectum (Randy: "what!?") and the judges said no to Aquila for Hollywood. This really irractitated her. Thank you Aquila for giving the world so many new words! I look forward to purchasing Aquila's New World Dictionary sometime in the future.
A young, cute-ish guy named Adam Lambert came in and sang very high and dramatically. I think he was the Broadway kid. I'm looking at notes right now and having trouble remembering him. Noted: "needs makeup." In my world that usually means that he would look a lot hotter with some eyeliner.
Kai? I think that was his name? Was the good-looking, dark-skinned man who was taking care of his very white-skinned, white-haired mom. He did "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes." I thought he was OK. Probably won't make it beyond Hollywood.
OK, now let's get this bitch Louisville done.....where's my notes, where's my notes...ah...there we go....
Tall blonde Tiffany starts off the show, complete with creepy mom and dad. I always wonder why people keep singing when Randy starts laughing, quite audibly, through their performances? She said she would sing another song but Kara said, "No honey. It's not about that."
Joanna who cut out on her own to become a music star said she "grew up a lot" "saw how artists struggle" and "lost a lot of confidence in the last year" --- that sounds an awful lot like too many rounds on the record company exec's casting couch to me. But good ol' Paula gave her a shot of confidence with, "I think you're worthy." (Worthy to stand before the wonder that is Paula Abdul?)
Mark Mudd. Well, what can one say? This is what the rest of the country expects to find when they go to Kentucky. Mr. Mudd almost died five times, had multiple car accidents, and is the ancestor of the Dr. Mudd who fixed John Wilkes Booth's leg after he shot Lincoln and jumped from the theatre balcony. He is the reason, he says, the term "Your name is Mud" came about. Well tickle my fanny and send me to Ohio, that's really some story. Unfortunately, this was "not the right competition" for him, according to Paula, to which Simon said, "What is the right competition? Wheel of Fortune?" An "Oh no he di-in't" could then be clearly heard outside the living room window of Pat Sajack's mansion. So, Muck (as Simon referred to him) did not go through, but having been through so many near-death-experiences himself he told the judges to "be careful." What a sweet guy.
Brent did "Can't Get Enough of Your Love" and he was REALLY good. Though Simon called him "buskerish"---- Hey Aquila!! Is that in our dictionary, baby!?? Oh, no, here it is...it is based on a real term...never mind. BUSKING: the practice of performing in public places for tips and gratuities. Well slap my butt and call me Shirley (no, don't call me Shirely), he used it properly.
OK, stop slapping my rear end now.
Two things I realized about the new judge, (should we keep calling her "the new judge" or call her Kara?), I don't like her gray eyeshadow that she wears every day. It's a tad whoreish looking. #2 She has the exact same lisp as Sarah Jessica Parker.
During Brent's performance the two female judges went under the table and then Kara said, "Ready, let's both go down." Where was Ryan when you need someone to reprimand those four and tell them it's a family show?
A few clips of bad performers were shown...like the Zebra guy and the loveable Fat Patrick who did the Billie Jean song and dance. Really enjoyed him.
They let a guy named Matt in who did Gavin DeGraw's "I Don't Want to Be" He was just OK, won't make it that far.
Ross, the academic guy came in and I found it very funny that Paula suddenly put on her glasses for the only part in the show. Inside Paula's head: He's smart. I'll look smart. No, I'll look smarter! Yeah, because he's not wearing glasses is he? No, he's not. He sipped through her straw and she was then afraid she'd catch some of the smart, so she had them get her another cup.
Did anyone notice on Day 2 of Louisville that Paula walked in wearing her lingerie? What was that about?
Aaron woke everyone up screaming and stomping "Have you Ever Seen the Rain" --- Ryan ran in to protect Simon because he thought something bad was happening.
Kara pointed out that Rebecca, who couldn't sing, was voted "most humorous" in high school and that this must be a joke. Then Rebecca cried. Then Kara pretended to feel bad because she was mean.
I didn't feel like they showed us enough good performers. I made a note of the name Ryan Johnson from Ohio because they showed him for a second and he was really fantastic. So mark my words on him.
The show ended with Lenisha, who grew up homeless. She wrote her own song and whenever someone sings a song they wrote themselves it goes horribly wrong, but she was the exception. She passed the audition with flying colors. You'll be seeing more of her.
Well, sadly, there are still more auditions next week. Hang in there, we'll get through it together.
Don't forget to vote in the new poll below and also read Simon's classic quote at the bottom!
To "watch" this blog, all you need to do is click on that over on the right side. They make you create a gmail address --- if you already have one you can use that, but there is nothing scary about getting a gmail address! It is just an extra email address for you, for free. Feel free to email me if you have other questions about the blog...or suggestions for it! Or just comment below! You can also click on the link button and send this to others, just look at the icons below. You'll get the hang of it, you're a smart cookie! :)
In Frisco we started with Tatiana, who thought she was wonderful (and claims to be Puerto Rican) and was pretty much over-the-top crazy. Turns out Crazy can sing. She's going to Hollywood, where all will certainly hate her.
There was a very white, excessivley pasty guy with red hair who I thought I might actually catch some disease from just by watching him on TV. Scary.
Someone chose to sing "We Built This City" by Jefferson Starship...a song that no one should EVER, EVER, EVER sing, including Jefferson Starship. What in the hell where they thinking when they wrote that?
Enter the failed entrepreneur with the wild jacket and a smile as wide as Randy's behind. Simon said he had fake hair color. He was pretty spastic and didn't make it. Nice guy though.
Now you know the show has really gotten big when Jesus comes to audition. That's right, Jesus, right there in front of Randy, Paula, Simon, and (do I have to say it?) Kara. Well how can you not put Jesus through to Hollywood? Everyone be lovin' Jesus! We'll have to see if Jesus can make the final cut though, down the road. Without his loyal followers, especially the children, and their signs of "We Love You Jesus!" I think he will not make it to the next round.
Some guy who could do the Rubik's Cube sang "Baby Baby" and I had no idea what song he was singing.
Now, here's someone with a talent. I think her name was Aquila Eshew Goldstein? Though she couldn't pronounce anything right, so it only fits that I can't get her name right. She was the one who studied the biological tems for the throat. She could sing acapellaly and knew all about the trayshea. When she tried to sing in front of the judges, her voice, unfortunately, came from the wrong rectum (Randy: "what!?") and the judges said no to Aquila for Hollywood. This really irractitated her. Thank you Aquila for giving the world so many new words! I look forward to purchasing Aquila's New World Dictionary sometime in the future.
A young, cute-ish guy named Adam Lambert came in and sang very high and dramatically. I think he was the Broadway kid. I'm looking at notes right now and having trouble remembering him. Noted: "needs makeup." In my world that usually means that he would look a lot hotter with some eyeliner.
Kai? I think that was his name? Was the good-looking, dark-skinned man who was taking care of his very white-skinned, white-haired mom. He did "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes." I thought he was OK. Probably won't make it beyond Hollywood.
OK, now let's get this bitch Louisville done.....where's my notes, where's my notes...ah...there we go....
Tall blonde Tiffany starts off the show, complete with creepy mom and dad. I always wonder why people keep singing when Randy starts laughing, quite audibly, through their performances? She said she would sing another song but Kara said, "No honey. It's not about that."
Joanna who cut out on her own to become a music star said she "grew up a lot" "saw how artists struggle" and "lost a lot of confidence in the last year" --- that sounds an awful lot like too many rounds on the record company exec's casting couch to me. But good ol' Paula gave her a shot of confidence with, "I think you're worthy." (Worthy to stand before the wonder that is Paula Abdul?)
Mark Mudd. Well, what can one say? This is what the rest of the country expects to find when they go to Kentucky. Mr. Mudd almost died five times, had multiple car accidents, and is the ancestor of the Dr. Mudd who fixed John Wilkes Booth's leg after he shot Lincoln and jumped from the theatre balcony. He is the reason, he says, the term "Your name is Mud" came about. Well tickle my fanny and send me to Ohio, that's really some story. Unfortunately, this was "not the right competition" for him, according to Paula, to which Simon said, "What is the right competition? Wheel of Fortune?" An "Oh no he di-in't" could then be clearly heard outside the living room window of Pat Sajack's mansion. So, Muck (as Simon referred to him) did not go through, but having been through so many near-death-experiences himself he told the judges to "be careful." What a sweet guy.
Brent did "Can't Get Enough of Your Love" and he was REALLY good. Though Simon called him "buskerish"---- Hey Aquila!! Is that in our dictionary, baby!?? Oh, no, here it is...it is based on a real term...never mind. BUSKING: the practice of performing in public places for tips and gratuities. Well slap my butt and call me Shirley (no, don't call me Shirely), he used it properly.
OK, stop slapping my rear end now.
Two things I realized about the new judge, (should we keep calling her "the new judge" or call her Kara?), I don't like her gray eyeshadow that she wears every day. It's a tad whoreish looking. #2 She has the exact same lisp as Sarah Jessica Parker.
During Brent's performance the two female judges went under the table and then Kara said, "Ready, let's both go down." Where was Ryan when you need someone to reprimand those four and tell them it's a family show?
A few clips of bad performers were shown...like the Zebra guy and the loveable Fat Patrick who did the Billie Jean song and dance. Really enjoyed him.
They let a guy named Matt in who did Gavin DeGraw's "I Don't Want to Be" He was just OK, won't make it that far.
Ross, the academic guy came in and I found it very funny that Paula suddenly put on her glasses for the only part in the show. Inside Paula's head: He's smart. I'll look smart. No, I'll look smarter! Yeah, because he's not wearing glasses is he? No, he's not. He sipped through her straw and she was then afraid she'd catch some of the smart, so she had them get her another cup.
Did anyone notice on Day 2 of Louisville that Paula walked in wearing her lingerie? What was that about?
Aaron woke everyone up screaming and stomping "Have you Ever Seen the Rain" --- Ryan ran in to protect Simon because he thought something bad was happening.
Kara pointed out that Rebecca, who couldn't sing, was voted "most humorous" in high school and that this must be a joke. Then Rebecca cried. Then Kara pretended to feel bad because she was mean.
I didn't feel like they showed us enough good performers. I made a note of the name Ryan Johnson from Ohio because they showed him for a second and he was really fantastic. So mark my words on him.
The show ended with Lenisha, who grew up homeless. She wrote her own song and whenever someone sings a song they wrote themselves it goes horribly wrong, but she was the exception. She passed the audition with flying colors. You'll be seeing more of her.
Well, sadly, there are still more auditions next week. Hang in there, we'll get through it together.
Don't forget to vote in the new poll below and also read Simon's classic quote at the bottom!
To "watch" this blog, all you need to do is click on that over on the right side. They make you create a gmail address --- if you already have one you can use that, but there is nothing scary about getting a gmail address! It is just an extra email address for you, for free. Feel free to email me if you have other questions about the blog...or suggestions for it! Or just comment below! You can also click on the link button and send this to others, just look at the icons below. You'll get the hang of it, you're a smart cookie! :)
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Idol in Kansas City: Dentists Not Allowed
So who knew the extent of the problem? Widespread neglect right in our midst, right smack dab in the middle of our country! How did they let it get this far? Do the good dentists of our country not even care about Kansas City? President-elect Obama, at the very least, please add a 2 ton box of toothbrushes to be immediately shipped to Kansas City as part of the federal economic stimulus package. If they brush their teeth they can get jobs! It is the least you can do for those poor people.
But hey! There was something nice to look at in Kansas City! Enter JASON CASTRO.....collective sigh! (well, at least one sigh from yours truly). Hi Jason! Jason got a big hug from Paula (she always likes my men, always! Damn her!) But we'll get back to Jason later in the Tales of the Toothless City.
First up is Chelsea, who I knew was going to stink because she was bragging about how good she is. She was a pretty, but who in her family is telling her she can sing? Maybe they had no teeth and she misunderstood what they said. Kara called her "sweetie" so I'm sure that softened the blow of rejection (eyeroll).
Next someone came in and did a song that Simon co-wrote. It was a sappy love song and the girl sang "footsteps" instead of "footprints" which he quickly corrected. My guess is that's where he got his songwriting credit -- "Yeah, I think you should change 'footsteps' to 'footprints'.....now don't forget to put me on the songwriting credits."
Casey in K.C. was as cute as a button. She is going to have a great face for those closeups on stage.
Stage left enter "big-hearted, hairy-chested" guy. Oh how I love it when Randy laughs through someone's entire performance! Dog, you funny.
Insert the "Boo Hoo" segment where several people cry or scream over not getting their golden ticket. Boo hoo hooo....now I'll never be able to afford to go to the dentist!
A guy in a hat came in and sort of yelled and sang "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" all at one time. It was a risk, but the risk paid off. He should be interesting to watch. He's someone who could go on through to the next round as long as he doesn't get too risky.
And now.....drum roll....it's the Castro brothers! Pink-haired Michael Castro is every bit as goofy as Jason Castro, but not as good looking, and according to himself, "less girlie." Hey, don't pick on my girlie Jason, Michael! Other than the goofiness, I didn't see that much in common about these two, but when Michael started singing his whole face transformed and you could see all the same expressions as Jason. It was quite fascinating! Now, see, what I'd like to do is switch their heads and bodies. Of course in doing so, you'd create one Adonnis and one short monster. Maybe I'll just make a cutout of Jason's face and paste it over the TV when Michael is on. It is funny what Simon said too...that he couldn't tell if the Castro brothers really took any of it seriously or really "wanted it." That's the amazing thing, they are just so naturally talented. I wasn't looking forward to brother Castro, but now I'm kind of on board. Better start printing out the Jason head and get me some tape!
Matt, the Welder, Breitzky was on next, following in the footsteps of the classic movie, Flashdance. He's a maniac, maniac on the floor.....(get it? She was a welder?) Matt had a nice voice. Maybe I'll put the Jason cutout over his face as well. I think he has a chance to make it to the Top 20.
So at this point in the show I notice that there is a woman who sits in the corner, off-screen, just to hand out the golden tickets. Wow. I wonder what that job pays?
A girl going by the name of "Jazz" with blue and red hair came in and did all kinds of wrong with her vocals. Did she not look like Kirsten Dunst's freaky sister?
Another geriatric-lover made the grade....Jessica who lives with her pill-popping 93 year old granny. She seems nice. I thought she was OK. I think she'll have a tough time making it through the next cut though.
Rapping sisters -- neither of them were good, but they let the normal-sized one through.
I am pretty sure they let the guy who came in screaming "California Dreamin'" go to Hollywood. What was with that hair? He looked like a Hare Krishna member. He's not going to the top 20. No way.
The guy who lost his wife, well you've gotta feel bad for that. I think he might make it to the Top 20, but get cut before the main stage.
Anupe, the folklore major (OK, that exists?) will be GREAT when he gets to the Top 20. They're going to grab ahold of those eyebrows and wax them right off. Stick him in some leather and trim up that hair. Instant Indian Idol. Love it.
Andrew and the Cheerleaders were up next. Can a man be too skinny and too white for me? Apparently so. Thank you, Andrew. And in what universe does a guy like that hang out with girls like that? I guess in the universe where a milky white boy sings like a black man...there you go. Don't worry, I won't Rickroll you. Just click here to see Andrew -- http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOU8GIRUd_g
The band director had a nice sound and a nice look.
The yellow-haired mutant...well, I just wanted to give that guy a vitamin or something (and a free pass to the dentist.....ANYONE EVER HEAR OF 'THE DENTIST' AROUND THERE!???) Does that guy actually take the time to bleach his hair? Why not take the time to brush your teeth?
The black dude who had a dream about Simon sounded a lot like Fantasia in the way he spoke I thought. He got through and I thought he was fun, but I don't see him making the cut later.
I HEREBY BAN THE USE OF THE PHRASE "WI' YOU" OR "WIT YOU"....it's "WITTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHH YOU!!!!" unless you don't have any teeth.
That one girl kept saying "God's going to get you!" Well, I hereby proclaim that if God is spending his time worrying about AI results, then I'm taking up Satanism, or at least Atheism!
Tornado girl is really good and pretty. She'll be Top 20. I thought comparing her to Fantasia was an insult as I don't think Fantasia is very good.
And finally, Simon ended the show by saying, "I'm now in love with Kansas." That's perfect. Especially since they were in Missouri.
'Til next time, don't forget to brush and floss!
But hey! There was something nice to look at in Kansas City! Enter JASON CASTRO.....collective sigh! (well, at least one sigh from yours truly). Hi Jason! Jason got a big hug from Paula (she always likes my men, always! Damn her!) But we'll get back to Jason later in the Tales of the Toothless City.
First up is Chelsea, who I knew was going to stink because she was bragging about how good she is. She was a pretty, but who in her family is telling her she can sing? Maybe they had no teeth and she misunderstood what they said. Kara called her "sweetie" so I'm sure that softened the blow of rejection (eyeroll).
Next someone came in and did a song that Simon co-wrote. It was a sappy love song and the girl sang "footsteps" instead of "footprints" which he quickly corrected. My guess is that's where he got his songwriting credit -- "Yeah, I think you should change 'footsteps' to 'footprints'.....now don't forget to put me on the songwriting credits."
Casey in K.C. was as cute as a button. She is going to have a great face for those closeups on stage.
Stage left enter "big-hearted, hairy-chested" guy. Oh how I love it when Randy laughs through someone's entire performance! Dog, you funny.
Insert the "Boo Hoo" segment where several people cry or scream over not getting their golden ticket. Boo hoo hooo....now I'll never be able to afford to go to the dentist!
A guy in a hat came in and sort of yelled and sang "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" all at one time. It was a risk, but the risk paid off. He should be interesting to watch. He's someone who could go on through to the next round as long as he doesn't get too risky.
And now.....drum roll....it's the Castro brothers! Pink-haired Michael Castro is every bit as goofy as Jason Castro, but not as good looking, and according to himself, "less girlie." Hey, don't pick on my girlie Jason, Michael! Other than the goofiness, I didn't see that much in common about these two, but when Michael started singing his whole face transformed and you could see all the same expressions as Jason. It was quite fascinating! Now, see, what I'd like to do is switch their heads and bodies. Of course in doing so, you'd create one Adonnis and one short monster. Maybe I'll just make a cutout of Jason's face and paste it over the TV when Michael is on. It is funny what Simon said too...that he couldn't tell if the Castro brothers really took any of it seriously or really "wanted it." That's the amazing thing, they are just so naturally talented. I wasn't looking forward to brother Castro, but now I'm kind of on board. Better start printing out the Jason head and get me some tape!
Matt, the Welder, Breitzky was on next, following in the footsteps of the classic movie, Flashdance. He's a maniac, maniac on the floor.....(get it? She was a welder?) Matt had a nice voice. Maybe I'll put the Jason cutout over his face as well. I think he has a chance to make it to the Top 20.
So at this point in the show I notice that there is a woman who sits in the corner, off-screen, just to hand out the golden tickets. Wow. I wonder what that job pays?
A girl going by the name of "Jazz" with blue and red hair came in and did all kinds of wrong with her vocals. Did she not look like Kirsten Dunst's freaky sister?
Another geriatric-lover made the grade....Jessica who lives with her pill-popping 93 year old granny. She seems nice. I thought she was OK. I think she'll have a tough time making it through the next cut though.
Rapping sisters -- neither of them were good, but they let the normal-sized one through.
I am pretty sure they let the guy who came in screaming "California Dreamin'" go to Hollywood. What was with that hair? He looked like a Hare Krishna member. He's not going to the top 20. No way.
The guy who lost his wife, well you've gotta feel bad for that. I think he might make it to the Top 20, but get cut before the main stage.
Anupe, the folklore major (OK, that exists?) will be GREAT when he gets to the Top 20. They're going to grab ahold of those eyebrows and wax them right off. Stick him in some leather and trim up that hair. Instant Indian Idol. Love it.
Andrew and the Cheerleaders were up next. Can a man be too skinny and too white for me? Apparently so. Thank you, Andrew. And in what universe does a guy like that hang out with girls like that? I guess in the universe where a milky white boy sings like a black man...there you go. Don't worry, I won't Rickroll you. Just click here to see Andrew -- http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOU8GIRUd_g
The band director had a nice sound and a nice look.
The yellow-haired mutant...well, I just wanted to give that guy a vitamin or something (and a free pass to the dentist.....ANYONE EVER HEAR OF 'THE DENTIST' AROUND THERE!???) Does that guy actually take the time to bleach his hair? Why not take the time to brush your teeth?
The black dude who had a dream about Simon sounded a lot like Fantasia in the way he spoke I thought. He got through and I thought he was fun, but I don't see him making the cut later.
I HEREBY BAN THE USE OF THE PHRASE "WI' YOU" OR "WIT YOU"....it's "WITTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHH YOU!!!!" unless you don't have any teeth.
That one girl kept saying "God's going to get you!" Well, I hereby proclaim that if God is spending his time worrying about AI results, then I'm taking up Satanism, or at least Atheism!
Tornado girl is really good and pretty. She'll be Top 20. I thought comparing her to Fantasia was an insult as I don't think Fantasia is very good.
And finally, Simon ended the show by saying, "I'm now in love with Kansas." That's perfect. Especially since they were in Missouri.
'Til next time, don't forget to brush and floss!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Idol Hits Arizona.....Yeah, We Get It....It's Hot There
As my loyal readers know, I don't typically start commenting until Idol is down to the final "real" contestants that go to the big stage, but since I'm now an official Blogstress, I felt it my duty to make a few comments to keep current.
The kickoff last night started with so many great memories....geeky Clay when he was skinny, nerdy, and in the closet; William Hung; Roooooben, "Kelly!" (screech this like my husband does); Sanjaya and the crying girl; The Hoff and more... Good times, yep, good times. My favorite moment of the intro was when Ryan nearly fell into the Grand Canyon....close, but no cigar. Perhaps he is still off balance from the shark bite of his pinky toe? (No, I don't know if the shark got his pinky toe, but that's how I like to imagine it.....I really didn't spend any time researching the Ryan/Shark incident, but I plan to refer to it endlessly nonetheless.
So in Arizona (where it's hot...in case you didn't know) we started off with a Tai Afro Dude (who is "half-caucasian" -- Yo! A shout out to my fellow caucasians! Woop Woop!!). Afro Dude didn't do so well, despite his claim that his moves made him "more marketable." Aw. Poor, sad, Afro Dude.
This is about the point where I decide there is no way I am going to like this new judge (didn't take long did it?). Anyone who calls people "honey" like that (if you do that, consider NOT doing that) is not a friend of mine! I never thought I'd say this, but this woman is going to make Paula shine like a diamond. Mark my words, Kara is not going to be popular with the audience. I want the standard back! Simon, Paula, Paula's prescription bottle, and Randy!
Next up, the Barracuda Tattoo girl. This girl is very beautiful (except for the unattractive tattoos)and a really, really great singer. I'm with Paula (you know, Paula's my peeps now!)she's, like, Top 5 material. Love her! She's the real deal.
OK, now we come to "Blue Collar Guy" who works in a cubicle. Ooooooh...kay.... Um....yeah, I guess there's no point in explaining the contradiction to him. Blue Collar Cubicle Guy is also known as Rock Band Singer Poser Guy on Fridays. Boy the office must love him. So, he didn't do very well, but don't worry, someone will "hear his [hard luck] story" and give him a break. You know, that hard luck story of growing up and being employed in an actual job because he doesn't have any friends in a rock band?
Some guy named J.B. got through but I didn't think he was that great.
There was a nervous, sweaty, pasty guy who sounded like he was having a toilet episode when he sang. What was that about?
Andre, X-ray, Cactus guy I SO totally enjoyed. Very disappointed they didn't let him through. How uplifting to watch that guy swiggle around!! Just loved it. If stupid bikini chick got to go through, I don't know why he didn't!
Didn't Paula look so smart with those glasses on? She looked pretty last night too. (No, Paula has not paid me for good commentary just because there is another female judge on the show this year. Really. I promise. Not that I'm not open to that. (Paula, call me!)
Arianna - she's adorable, she can sing, and she likes geriatric people. Top 12.
Elijah with the low voice...kinda reminds me of the guy in Animal House, "May we dance with your dates?"
Pink cowboy hat girl from Connecticut! WOOOOOOO!! (Who "woos" about Connecticut?) Despite brining in the 3-ring binder, she was too nasally and didn't make it.
Stevie was good. She has a ton of potential. She's like a "before" picture. They'll hide that big forehead and slap some makeup on her and she'll be good to go.
When I was not watching too closely some big hick got sent to Hollywood.
Bikini girl: Now what was most disturbing about this segment was not the girl in the bikini, but judge Kara getting up and singing like, "Look, I'm better than you!" That made me feel very squirmy, because honey, you just don't do that. You need to be professional on that judge's table and not try to show you're better than the contestants. You didn't see Paula get up and try to outdance Afro dude! #2 disturbing thing was the fact that they played, "I Kissed a Girl" for Ryan kissing the bikini girl. The lyrics go, "I kissed a girl and I liked it...I hope my boyfriend don't mind it." Are you telling me that was not intentionally done?
Deanna the southern blond was really good.
Detroit horror movie making boy was good, not great, but definitely someone I will be keeping my eye on (I hope he keeps his eyeliner on!) He's interesting. I'll leave it at that.
Nerdy guy Alex did James Ingram and made all kinds of weird faces. He was a good singer, but the performance needs a lot of work. I don't see him making the final cut.
Scott McIntyre, the blind guy, was good but I didn't know the song and I didn't think he was GREAT. He's certainly done well in his life considering his vision. I think he'll get cut in Hollywood, but it doesn't look like much is going to stop him in life. Good for Scott.
On that sweet note (you didn't think I would make fun of a blind guy, did you?) I bid you adieu.
The kickoff last night started with so many great memories....geeky Clay when he was skinny, nerdy, and in the closet; William Hung; Roooooben, "Kelly!" (screech this like my husband does); Sanjaya and the crying girl; The Hoff and more... Good times, yep, good times. My favorite moment of the intro was when Ryan nearly fell into the Grand Canyon....close, but no cigar. Perhaps he is still off balance from the shark bite of his pinky toe? (No, I don't know if the shark got his pinky toe, but that's how I like to imagine it.....I really didn't spend any time researching the Ryan/Shark incident, but I plan to refer to it endlessly nonetheless.
So in Arizona (where it's hot...in case you didn't know) we started off with a Tai Afro Dude (who is "half-caucasian" -- Yo! A shout out to my fellow caucasians! Woop Woop!!). Afro Dude didn't do so well, despite his claim that his moves made him "more marketable." Aw. Poor, sad, Afro Dude.
This is about the point where I decide there is no way I am going to like this new judge (didn't take long did it?). Anyone who calls people "honey" like that (if you do that, consider NOT doing that) is not a friend of mine! I never thought I'd say this, but this woman is going to make Paula shine like a diamond. Mark my words, Kara is not going to be popular with the audience. I want the standard back! Simon, Paula, Paula's prescription bottle, and Randy!
Next up, the Barracuda Tattoo girl. This girl is very beautiful (except for the unattractive tattoos)and a really, really great singer. I'm with Paula (you know, Paula's my peeps now!)she's, like, Top 5 material. Love her! She's the real deal.
OK, now we come to "Blue Collar Guy" who works in a cubicle. Ooooooh...kay.... Um....yeah, I guess there's no point in explaining the contradiction to him. Blue Collar Cubicle Guy is also known as Rock Band Singer Poser Guy on Fridays. Boy the office must love him. So, he didn't do very well, but don't worry, someone will "hear his [hard luck] story" and give him a break. You know, that hard luck story of growing up and being employed in an actual job because he doesn't have any friends in a rock band?
Some guy named J.B. got through but I didn't think he was that great.
There was a nervous, sweaty, pasty guy who sounded like he was having a toilet episode when he sang. What was that about?
Andre, X-ray, Cactus guy I SO totally enjoyed. Very disappointed they didn't let him through. How uplifting to watch that guy swiggle around!! Just loved it. If stupid bikini chick got to go through, I don't know why he didn't!
Didn't Paula look so smart with those glasses on? She looked pretty last night too. (No, Paula has not paid me for good commentary just because there is another female judge on the show this year. Really. I promise. Not that I'm not open to that. (Paula, call me!)
Arianna - she's adorable, she can sing, and she likes geriatric people. Top 12.
Elijah with the low voice...kinda reminds me of the guy in Animal House, "May we dance with your dates?"
Pink cowboy hat girl from Connecticut! WOOOOOOO!! (Who "woos" about Connecticut?) Despite brining in the 3-ring binder, she was too nasally and didn't make it.
Stevie was good. She has a ton of potential. She's like a "before" picture. They'll hide that big forehead and slap some makeup on her and she'll be good to go.
When I was not watching too closely some big hick got sent to Hollywood.
Bikini girl: Now what was most disturbing about this segment was not the girl in the bikini, but judge Kara getting up and singing like, "Look, I'm better than you!" That made me feel very squirmy, because honey, you just don't do that. You need to be professional on that judge's table and not try to show you're better than the contestants. You didn't see Paula get up and try to outdance Afro dude! #2 disturbing thing was the fact that they played, "I Kissed a Girl" for Ryan kissing the bikini girl. The lyrics go, "I kissed a girl and I liked it...I hope my boyfriend don't mind it." Are you telling me that was not intentionally done?
Deanna the southern blond was really good.
Detroit horror movie making boy was good, not great, but definitely someone I will be keeping my eye on (I hope he keeps his eyeliner on!) He's interesting. I'll leave it at that.
Nerdy guy Alex did James Ingram and made all kinds of weird faces. He was a good singer, but the performance needs a lot of work. I don't see him making the final cut.
Scott McIntyre, the blind guy, was good but I didn't know the song and I didn't think he was GREAT. He's certainly done well in his life considering his vision. I think he'll get cut in Hollywood, but it doesn't look like much is going to stop him in life. Good for Scott.
On that sweet note (you didn't think I would make fun of a blind guy, did you?) I bid you adieu.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Look at Me All Modern and Whatnot!
So, I've been doing my American Idol "commentary" for a number of years now and some of you new-fangled readers have been saying, "Why don't you have your own blog?"
Well................TA DA!!!! Aren't you all sorts of impressed!?
I chose this black template for my blog in honor of Simon's wardrobe and its title explains how I feel about American Idol. It's a love/hate thing. No show better "seizes" our time with the weeks and weeks of auditions, rambling commentary, and exasperating "right after the breaks." Here's hoping you've all invested in a DVR or Tivo because as entertaining as it might be, you simply cannot let this show take up one more moment of your time! When Idol Gives Back this year, I say we ask them to give us back the precious hours of our lives!!
Since Paula is so much inspiration for the Idol blog, I thought it only fair to recognize her in some way. So the website address (url) I chose was http://theupperregister.blogspot.com. You are now in the upper register -- be proud, stand tall! Please comment often, because you know you sound great in the upper register!
So, word on the street is that American Idol starts tomorrow with their auditions of the good, the bad, and the mentally ill. A new judge has joined the cast too. Now if you think I'm going to get all fancy and do indepth research on this silly show just because I now have this spiffy blog, you are sorely mistaken, sir! No, I don't know the new judge's name. No, I don't know what her credentials are. What I do know is that she's a woman and that's going to make little Miss Paula Abdrool extra crazy this season! Expect extra potent doses of crazy since the talk-time will now be split four ways and Paula will have to find a way to cram it all into less screen time.
As your beloved, but not-so-dedicated blogstress here....I can't tell you much more about the upcoming American Idol season. Since the last season, the only noteworthy pieces of information I heard was that Ryan was bit by a shark, Simon broke off his engagement, and a once-auditioner was found dead outside of Paula's house! One could ponder what Randy does in the off-season.......but then there's other activities for the mind -- you know things like literature, art, music -- remembering to breathe.
Thank you for joining me out here in cyberspace. I hope the blog is as successful as the email commentary and that you join me here, comment often, invite your friends, and have fun. You know you're already wondering what you're going to do with those precious few moments in between the Idol TV shows. I'm glad to oblige!
'Til the season starts............
Well................TA DA!!!! Aren't you all sorts of impressed!?
I chose this black template for my blog in honor of Simon's wardrobe and its title explains how I feel about American Idol. It's a love/hate thing. No show better "seizes" our time with the weeks and weeks of auditions, rambling commentary, and exasperating "right after the breaks." Here's hoping you've all invested in a DVR or Tivo because as entertaining as it might be, you simply cannot let this show take up one more moment of your time! When Idol Gives Back this year, I say we ask them to give us back the precious hours of our lives!!
Since Paula is so much inspiration for the Idol blog, I thought it only fair to recognize her in some way. So the website address (url) I chose was http://theupperregister.blogspot.com. You are now in the upper register -- be proud, stand tall! Please comment often, because you know you sound great in the upper register!
So, word on the street is that American Idol starts tomorrow with their auditions of the good, the bad, and the mentally ill. A new judge has joined the cast too. Now if you think I'm going to get all fancy and do indepth research on this silly show just because I now have this spiffy blog, you are sorely mistaken, sir! No, I don't know the new judge's name. No, I don't know what her credentials are. What I do know is that she's a woman and that's going to make little Miss Paula Abdrool extra crazy this season! Expect extra potent doses of crazy since the talk-time will now be split four ways and Paula will have to find a way to cram it all into less screen time.
As your beloved, but not-so-dedicated blogstress here....I can't tell you much more about the upcoming American Idol season. Since the last season, the only noteworthy pieces of information I heard was that Ryan was bit by a shark, Simon broke off his engagement, and a once-auditioner was found dead outside of Paula's house! One could ponder what Randy does in the off-season.......but then there's other activities for the mind -- you know things like literature, art, music -- remembering to breathe.
Thank you for joining me out here in cyberspace. I hope the blog is as successful as the email commentary and that you join me here, comment often, invite your friends, and have fun. You know you're already wondering what you're going to do with those precious few moments in between the Idol TV shows. I'm glad to oblige!
'Til the season starts............
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