Idol Hits Arizona.....Yeah, We Get It....It's Hot There

As my loyal readers know, I don't typically start commenting until Idol is down to the final "real" contestants that go to the big stage, but since I'm now an official Blogstress, I felt it my duty to make a few comments to keep current.

The kickoff last night started with so many great memories....geeky Clay when he was skinny, nerdy, and in the closet; William Hung; Roooooben, "Kelly!" (screech this like my husband does); Sanjaya and the crying girl; The Hoff and more... Good times, yep, good times. My favorite moment of the intro was when Ryan nearly fell into the Grand Canyon....close, but no cigar. Perhaps he is still off balance from the shark bite of his pinky toe? (No, I don't know if the shark got his pinky toe, but that's how I like to imagine it.....I really didn't spend any time researching the Ryan/Shark incident, but I plan to refer to it endlessly nonetheless.

So in Arizona (where it's hot...in case you didn't know) we started off with a Tai Afro Dude (who is "half-caucasian" -- Yo! A shout out to my fellow caucasians! Woop Woop!!). Afro Dude didn't do so well, despite his claim that his moves made him "more marketable." Aw. Poor, sad, Afro Dude.

This is about the point where I decide there is no way I am going to like this new judge (didn't take long did it?). Anyone who calls people "honey" like that (if you do that, consider NOT doing that) is not a friend of mine! I never thought I'd say this, but this woman is going to make Paula shine like a diamond. Mark my words, Kara is not going to be popular with the audience. I want the standard back! Simon, Paula, Paula's prescription bottle, and Randy!

Next up, the Barracuda Tattoo girl. This girl is very beautiful (except for the unattractive tattoos)and a really, really great singer. I'm with Paula (you know, Paula's my peeps now!)she's, like, Top 5 material. Love her! She's the real deal.

OK, now we come to "Blue Collar Guy" who works in a cubicle. Ooooooh...kay.... Um....yeah, I guess there's no point in explaining the contradiction to him. Blue Collar Cubicle Guy is also known as Rock Band Singer Poser Guy on Fridays. Boy the office must love him. So, he didn't do very well, but don't worry, someone will "hear his [hard luck] story" and give him a break. You know, that hard luck story of growing up and being employed in an actual job because he doesn't have any friends in a rock band?

Some guy named J.B. got through but I didn't think he was that great.

There was a nervous, sweaty, pasty guy who sounded like he was having a toilet episode when he sang. What was that about?

Andre, X-ray, Cactus guy I SO totally enjoyed. Very disappointed they didn't let him through. How uplifting to watch that guy swiggle around!! Just loved it. If stupid bikini chick got to go through, I don't know why he didn't!

Didn't Paula look so smart with those glasses on? She looked pretty last night too. (No, Paula has not paid me for good commentary just because there is another female judge on the show this year. Really. I promise. Not that I'm not open to that. (Paula, call me!)

Arianna - she's adorable, she can sing, and she likes geriatric people. Top 12.

Elijah with the low voice...kinda reminds me of the guy in Animal House, "May we dance with your dates?"

Pink cowboy hat girl from Connecticut! WOOOOOOO!! (Who "woos" about Connecticut?) Despite brining in the 3-ring binder, she was too nasally and didn't make it.

Stevie was good. She has a ton of potential. She's like a "before" picture. They'll hide that big forehead and slap some makeup on her and she'll be good to go.

When I was not watching too closely some big hick got sent to Hollywood.

Bikini girl: Now what was most disturbing about this segment was not the girl in the bikini, but judge Kara getting up and singing like, "Look, I'm better than you!" That made me feel very squirmy, because honey, you just don't do that. You need to be professional on that judge's table and not try to show you're better than the contestants. You didn't see Paula get up and try to outdance Afro dude! #2 disturbing thing was the fact that they played, "I Kissed a Girl" for Ryan kissing the bikini girl. The lyrics go, "I kissed a girl and I liked it...I hope my boyfriend don't mind it." Are you telling me that was not intentionally done?

Deanna the southern blond was really good.

Detroit horror movie making boy was good, not great, but definitely someone I will be keeping my eye on (I hope he keeps his eyeliner on!) He's interesting. I'll leave it at that.

Nerdy guy Alex did James Ingram and made all kinds of weird faces. He was a good singer, but the performance needs a lot of work. I don't see him making the final cut.

Scott McIntyre, the blind guy, was good but I didn't know the song and I didn't think he was GREAT. He's certainly done well in his life considering his vision. I think he'll get cut in Hollywood, but it doesn't look like much is going to stop him in life. Good for Scott.

On that sweet note (you didn't think I would make fun of a blind guy, did you?) I bid you adieu.